IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet, To what extent do you aree or disagree?

#meat #diet #aree
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I’m against a vegetarian
diet
 due to the fact that there are 22 types of amino
acids
 that are used in the human
body
.
Of
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Which
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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8
of
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apply
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them are essential amino
acids
 and one of them cannot be obtained from vegetables.
Also
, in order to
gain
 the daily calories needed in a vegetarian
diet
, a
person
 needs to in large amounts and frequently. Below, I’ll explore these reasons in more depth.
First
 of all, the human
body
 cannot get the necessary amino
acids
 only from a vegetarian
diet
. Amino
acids
 are like building blocks or materials to build a house. If you don’t have all of the required materials, you can only build so much.
For example
, to lay a foundation, a
person
 only requires the concrete to be poured.
However
, if the
person
 is going to build a wooden structure,
it
Correct pronoun usage
she
he
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 needs to have nails.
Thus
, a missing amino acid is going to be devastating when the
body
 wants to build or repair its parts.
Secondly
, in a mixed
diet
, a
person
 can
gain
 the daily calories, minerals, vitamins and fibres required from so many different sources.
However
, if the
person
 is following a plant-based
diet
, it would be so difficult to
gain
 as much
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the same amount of time. Following a mixed or carnivorous
diet
 gives us the ability to
gain
 the calories required in a timely fashion. In a nutshell, a mixed
diet
 or carnivorous
diet
 has the benefit of supplying the human
body
 with the required minerals, amino
acids
, fibres and many other essential resources in a better and more efficient way. A
person
 who is following a vegetarian
diet
 must rely on food supplements to pursue their
diet
 choice.
Submitted by vuslat.olcer on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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