IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people work long hours having very little time for relax activities does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages

It is considered that currently
people
Use synonyms
 are terribly bustling with their
work
Use synonyms
 than ever before and tend to spend
fewest
Change the article
the fewest
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for
relaxation
Replace the word
relaxing
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is useful for their professional life
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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I do believe that the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 tendency
worth
Add a missing verb
are worth
show examples
 than benefits. Fast and foremost, one major advantage of it ,
however
Linking Words
, is that employees can able to
accomplished
Change the form of the verb
accomplish
show examples
 their accepted
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
. When they are working
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 long periods they
ultimately
Add a missing verb
are ultimately
show examples
 able to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
companies
Change noun form
companies'
company's
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 requirements
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more efficiently , as a consequence, it
is remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one step ahead compared to
Correct article usage
the less
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less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 working staff
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
members.
Secondly
Linking Words
, money, nowadays it is considered by far the dominant need for all
people
Use synonyms
 when they
are
Change the verb form
are enabled
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enable
Correct your spelling
unable
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 long hours they can able to earn more money.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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not only
Correct your spelling
provide
provite
Correct your spelling
provides
 them
Change preposition
with a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 honourable chair of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society but
also
Linking Words
 able them to purchase
prices
Wrong verb form
priced
show examples
 items ,
for example
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, buy
flat
Fix the agreement mistake
flats
show examples
, travel abroad.
On the other hand
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,
besides
Linking Words
 these plus
points
Add a comma
,points
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation can carry unprecedented noxious
amples
Correct your spelling
samples
 for
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it
is mitigate
Change the verb form
is mitigated
is mitigating
show examples
family
time
Use synonyms
 because when
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
Change the noun form
employee
show examples
 provides
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 proportion of their
time
Use synonyms
 to the workplace they are not able to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their family members.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 it
is boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
work
Use synonyms
 stress and converted them into slave labour,
as a result
Linking Words
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
it is diminished their
work
Use synonyms
 capacity and efficiency.
Finally
Linking Words
, presently huge numbers of
people
Use synonyms
 across the
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
 have been
struggled
Wrong verb form
struggling
show examples
 with various forms of physical and mental problems,
for instance
Linking Words
,
stressness
Correct your spelling
stresses
, depression and high blood pressure and, those are
clear
Add an article
a clear
the clear
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 of uninterrupted working
time
Use synonyms
. To sum up, despite the different views
I
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can be said that working
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long hours
carry
Correct subject-verb agreement
carries
show examples
 more deleterious effects rather than benefits.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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