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Band 2.5

In some countries there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work not at home. Do you agree or disagree.

#countries #teenagers #people #parents #time #work #home
It is widely acknowledged that social
problems
 are
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
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 many reasons in
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
. Some people support the opinion that in some nations adolescents are
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 various social
problems
 because their parents are busy does not have family time for them to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 time together at home.
Additionally
, I agree with the previous point. In the following paragraph, the reasons to support
agreement
Correct article usage
the agreement
show examples
 will be outlined.
First
 of all, I strongly agree that
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
problems
adolescents
Change preposition
of adolescents
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not the main
causes
. I personally believe that family
problems
 are the main
causes
 of social
problems
 because parents have a crucial role
such
 as
to become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
listener
Fix the agreement mistake
listeners
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 to
Change the form of the verb
listen
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listening
Add the preposition
tolistening
show examples
 their
problems
 and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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understanding,
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a good
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 to
teaching
Change the form of the verb
teach
show examples
 between
moral
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
show examples
 and guilt, and
to become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
a sweet parents
Correct the article-noun agreement
sweet parents
a sweet parent
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the most crucial
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 is
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 time together and focus on family
first
.
On the contrary
, it can be seen that in the previous point In conclusion, I
pesonally
Correct your spelling
personally
 agree with
this
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 because it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to me that the advantages of .... outweigh the disadvantages
Submitted by narongdejteeranurak on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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