Although family is a powerful influence on child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A child's life is influenced by their family as well as outside the
home
. Many sociologists debate between nature and
nuture
Correct your spelling
nurture
nature
. A child's biological makeup and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
environment are both strongly going to influence how they behave.
First
of all, the family should provide their children with behavioural techniques. When a child is having a temper tantrum, parents should help them to calm down with breathing exercises. Outside of the
home
children will learn certain behaviours. Some will be positive and some will be negative. An example of positive behaviour they may pick up outside of the
home
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
manners. Growing up my family didn't teach me as many manners as I learned outside of the
home
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
at dinner time, we all ate at different times and not necessarily together as a family. When I went over to a friend's house though, I learned that eating together all at once as a family is better to improve the family dynamic. I come from a very educated family. My parents went to Harvard so they instilled in me a love for learning. In high school,
however
, I used to skip school sometimes to spend time with my friends. My parents didn't like that and tried to change that behaviour by keeping me in on weeknights to complete my homework. I ran away from
home
and started doing a few drugs. Some negative
influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
show examples
I picked up outside of the
home
was smoking cigarettes. My family was very against cigarette smoke but peer pressure got to me, especially in high school. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
I would debate that both my family and outside the
home
influenced me but I was more heavily influenced by people outside of my family.
Submitted by luchitoxl5000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • norms
  • emotional support
  • peer groups
  • social development
  • identity formation
  • intellectual growth
  • value system
  • perceptions
  • worldview
  • cultural assimilation
  • societal expectations
  • extracurricular activities
  • self-esteem
  • negative influences
  • well-rounded
  • external factors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: