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Band 5

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures
It is true that the number of
people
 in need is increasing dramatically all around the world. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss some reasons for
this
 negative trend, find the root of
this
 problem and set some suitable precautions to be taken against it.
To begin
 with, during
Pandemic
Correct article usage
the Pandemic
show examples
 many companies and firms went
bankruptcy
Replace the word
bankrupt
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, though, governments were trying to do
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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their best to support local businessmen. Lucky ones just had to reduce the staff.
As a result
, many
people
 lost their jobs and due to the harsh situation couldn’t find a new job and were literally obliged to become homeless. With rapid growth
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the generation and new technology,
people
 have to face more severe competition than they used to. The number of qualified
people
 is growing but they have nowhere to work. The Labor exchange is full of unemployed
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
 nowadays.
In addition
, the older
people
 just can not compete with modern highly educated young
people
.
This
 makes them feel insecure.
For example
, a person who has been working for a company for 15 years, maybe a very important and experienced employee, but he or she might not have got new informational skills and speed that a new educated and young person has. In many
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 young
people
 don’t need to have an impressive experience just because modern students are being taught new things in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities. Those kinds of things that the older generation had to learn during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
Although
 there are some solutions and precautions which can be taken.
For example
, the companies’ bosses should pay
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
up-to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
 courses for their older employees and
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
keep them motivated with some kind of reward after achieving some kind of task. In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 the number of homeless
people
 is growing due to strong competition and the pandemic consequences, but it is absolutely possible to overcome it, we should motivate and educate them to keep -up with
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation, so they are not left back.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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