IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school, while others think parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that transporting
children
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 to
school
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 is an important issue for many families.
While
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 some people believe that it is the
government
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’s
responsibility
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 to provide transportation for students, others argue that
parents
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 should be responsible for getting their
children
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 to
school
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. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. Those who believe that the
government
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 should be responsible provide several reasons to justify their view. One of the most obvious benefits is safety and equality. To illustrate,
government
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-provided
school
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 transport can ensure that all
children
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, regardless of their family background, have safe and reliable access to education.
For instance
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,
children
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 living in rural or disadvantaged areas may face long and dangerous journeys if transport is not provided.
In addition
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, organised
school
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 buses can reduce traffic congestion and accidents near schools, contributing to safer communities
overall
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.
On the other hand
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, those who argue that
parents
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 should take
responsibility
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also
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 have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that
parents
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 are primarily responsible for their
children
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’s daily care and routines. To clarify, taking
children
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 to
school
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 allows
parents
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 to supervise punctuality and ensure their
children
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 arrive safely.
For example
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, some
parents
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 prefer to drive or walk their
children
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 to
school
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 because it allows them to spend quality time together and better manage schedules.
Furthermore
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, relying entirely on the
government
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 could place a heavy financial burden on public budgets, especially in countries with limited resources. To recapitulate, it is evident that
government
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 involvement can promote safety and equal access to education,
while
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 parental
responsibility
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 encourages involvement and reduces public costs. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that the
government
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 should play a leading role in providing
school
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 transport, particularly for young
children
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 and those living far from schools.
However
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,
parents
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 should
also
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 share
responsibility
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 by supporting and supervising their
children
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’s daily journeys. A balanced approach is
therefore
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 the most effective solution.

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Task response
Make the main idea clear in the first paragraph with one clear sentence.
Coherence
Put ideas in a steady order, so one idea follows the next with simple linking words.
Task response
Give one simple example for each point and explain it.
Coherence
Keep sentences short and not too long.
Lexical resource
Use plain words, avoid hard words that are not needed.
Task response
Finish with a strong point that restates your view.
Task response
Clear view on the topic and a good balance of sides.
Coherence
Good use of connecting words to show the flow of ideas.
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