IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

#violence #music #lyrics #video #games #films #children #concern #societies #type #imagery #steps #impact #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, in many societies,
people
Use synonyms
 are worried about the brutality in song lyrics,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 and films seen by youngsters. The most severe problems arising from
this
Linking Words
 matter will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay, and two solutions for improvement will be mentioned. Arguably, the gravest problem originates from the use of
violence
Use synonyms
 in
music
Use synonyms
 lyrics and
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 by youth would be considerably spread of cruelty and roughness among young
people
Use synonyms
 in society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it seems that committing crimes might be increased in communities.
This
Linking Words
 can potentially lead to undermining the security of
people
Use synonyms
 in the country. A severe
further
Linking Words
 impact is causing stress, anxiety, and lack of concentration in children, which could inevitably lead to severe problems in educational affairs. So their academic improvement might be significantly damaged.
As a result
Linking Words
, the long-term consequent issues may include failure in education, abnormal behaviour, and cruelty. To counteract these issues, the most effective and prompt solution would be for parents to supervise precisely the films,
music
Use synonyms
, and
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 that their children use. So, it would surely be accepted that some inappropriate entertainment programs should be curtailed by family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, raising youngsters’ awareness about the severe effect of
violence
Use synonyms
 in film,
music
Use synonyms
, and
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 on their temper alongside logical restrictions would probably lessen the serious impact of the danger. Another remedy seems to be for authorities to manage the issue fundamentally by promoting
music
Use synonyms
 and game producers to reduce the
violence
Use synonyms
 in these fields.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they could penalize companies that provide inappropriate content. In conclusion, the main problems seem to be widespread
violence
Use synonyms
 and stress among young
people
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 lack of concentration that negatively affect youth’s educational improvement. The key solution would be parents’ supervision, along with the performing of essential programs for decreasing the
violence
Use synonyms
 in films,
music
Use synonyms
, and
video
Use synonyms
 game content by governments.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Bullying
  • Stress-related disorders
  • Media literacy
  • Critical evaluation
  • Age-appropriate media
  • Regulations
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Responsible media consumption
What to do next:
Look at other essays: