For many people the reason they work hard is to earn money. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #reason #work #money

In today's world, everyone is running behind wealth blindly.Earning wealth is

one

of the art everyone wants to master ,

however

,hard

work

is not

one

of the ways to earn

money

and I completely disagree that laymen do hard

work

to earn

money

only.My subsequent crumb of writing will elucidate my viewpoints with relevant examples. Commencing with, the ultimate goal of hard

work

is not

money

but to achieve different aspects of life. From

childhood

Add a comma

,childhood

show examples

students learn and

work

hard so that

one

day they will join a prestigious college,

moreover

, things didn't end up here, students still competing with fellow mates to get

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

marks

Correct the article-noun agreement

mark

show examples

which is a key to

enter

Wrong verb form

entering

show examples

corporate

work

with the handsome salaries.

For example

, to clear

IIT

Correct article usage

the IIT

show examples

entrance, I had to

work

had to spend 15-16 hours

into

Change preposition

show examples

studies, cut off from myself from social media and friends to clear the entrance exams,but fails.

Furthermore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard

work

also

brings other abilities like dedication and commitment

towards

Change preposition

show examples

work

For example

, to get promotional early in the private organisation

one

had to compete with fellow colleagues, think out of

box

Add an article

the box

show examples

and complete the project with 100% accuracy.Hard

work

along with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smart

work

brings reputation and respect.Doing all

such

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

is not a key to

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

money

but it's a guarantee to earn respect and fame,even labour do the hard

work

throughout the day but earn less than 3

dollar

Change to a plural noun

dollars

show examples

a day

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which he or she can survive. To conclude,in my opinion,

Correct your spelling

hard work

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

brings confidence,concentration and respect, even

uneducated

Correct article usage

an uneducated

show examples

person can

also

earn wealth,but the ple,

asure

Correct your spelling

sure

to earn all

such

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

is a

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

different level.

Submitted by abt.dhruv on Thu Sep 01 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
necessities
monetary rewards
quality of life
luxury items
dependents
responsibility
pursue
personal interests
cultural pressures
wealth accumulation
fulfillment
visible measure
correlate
secure future
comfortable lifestyle
entertainment

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For many people the reason they work hard is to earn money. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today parents spend less free time with their children. Who are more affected?

In the last few decades, there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media should have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many animals are endangered, some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to human. To what extent do you agree or disagree?