IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

School teachers are more responaibke for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #teachers #responaibke #development #students #parents
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The question of whether or not
teachers
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 have more
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responsibilities
responsabilities
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responsibilities
on
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for
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 the development of
students
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 than
parents
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 has been the subject of recent
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public
pubblic
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public
 debate. In my opinion,
although
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parents
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has
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have
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 an important role to play,
teachers
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 remain the most
influent
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influential
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on
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from
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 both social and intellectual standpoint.
Firstly
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, it is reasonable to assume that
school
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 is the
first
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 community outside the family that
students
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 meet in their lifetime. Inside
school
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teachers
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 replaced the
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parents
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parent's
parents'
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 role and support
students
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 not only for what
concerne
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concerns
 their subjects but
also
Linking Words
 with the social rules and
school
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's environment. A clear example of that
are
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is
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 the
school
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's clubs that act like
an
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a
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 society that
lead
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leads
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students
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 to improve their social skills.
Secondly
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,
the
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apply
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intellectual skills are boosted by
teachers
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 all over the
school
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 years. While in
family
Add an article
the family
a family
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 the atmosphere is always relaxed, in
school
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 there
weekly
Add a missing verb
are weekly
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 new challenges,
a
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and a
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lot of
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 that can broaden the horizons and gain more global perspective on life.
Furthermore
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, there are a lot of toxic families so
teachers
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 often
becomes
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become
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 the main important figure in the life of the student. I saw happen
this
Linking Words
 a huge amount of time in my personal experience. Considering all the point made above,
although
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 an
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important
importantl
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important
 role to play,
teachers
Use synonyms
 remain the most crucial figure
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 social and intellectual standpoints.
Submitted by stadnykviktoriya on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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