IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is difficult for people living in cities today get enough physical exercise. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve the problem

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently , everyone wants to live in the urban area but it is difficult to stay there , due to physical problems , which happened because of them ,
this
Linking Words
 essay illustrates the reasons and solutions to the above statement.
First
Linking Words
 of all , they have a busy schedule and cannot take out
time
Use synonyms
 for their own life ,
in addition
Linking Words
 , they work the whole day
that is
Linking Words
 the reason they spend less
time
Use synonyms
 ,
for example
Linking Words
 , nowadays , a number of people work 12 hours a day ,
consequently
Linking Words
 , they cannot spare
time
Use synonyms
 for it.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , owing to advanced technology , people become lazier and they use it every work , even though they know , it is harmful to us ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , numerous people use transportation ,
however
Linking Words
 , they have to get closer ,
therefore
Linking Words
 they become naturally weak.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , they should spare
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves and join some exercise clube , it helps them to develop physical strength ,
such
Linking Words
 as a plethora of the public joined yoga classes , due to the requirement of it so they feel good mentally as well as physical.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , it should be kept running as possible, in light of the fact that it helps us to prepare our body to illness free ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , behind ,it a scientific reason is there whenever we are running , the bacteria are eliminated through sweat ,
as a result
Linking Words
 , it cleans our body without any treatment. In conclusion , everyone should do exercise, which helps our body as well as mental diseases. If we want to live in the city , must do it and get prestigious health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: