In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that nowadays people get older in the early stage of their life
due to
severe illness or any medical conditions, which may affect the budget of the
healthcare
system. But I fully disagree with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
notion that the community has to pay their own expenses for their well-being. First of ,all it is worth considering that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a number of families who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live below the poverty line
as a result
they cannot afford household expenses. How ministry can expect from public to pay for its own
healthcare
expenses? Let's take the example,
according to
the statistical data published in 2020 in the Times of India, India has more than seventy per cent population who live below the poverty line and do not get the proper amount of food.
In addition
to that if people
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
start paying their own medical bills as resulted authorities will lose all
control
of the
healthcare
system.
This
further
creates lots more problems like inflation in the medical industry. Not only
this
but it is worth considering that only Government can take significant measures to
control
major illnesses like COVID-19 and malaria.
Moreover
, the ministry can open various Gym and Yoga centres to
control
the ageing population. In conclusion, me Government should pay for the community's
healthcare
facilities, not only because they are living under the poverty line, it is because the Government can keep track
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
control
the various major
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
with the help of worldwide
healthcare
funds.
Submitted by Anshloach187 on

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Task Response
Your essay does not fully address the task. It is important to carefully consider both the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and present clear arguments and examples to support your position. You need to provide a balanced view that fully addresses the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion through the use of transitional phrases and some signposting of ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive language, and the flow of ideas could be improved for better clarity and organization.

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