In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that nowadays people get older in the early stage of their life

due to

Linking Words

severe illness or any medical conditions, which may affect the budget of the

healthcare

Use synonyms

system. But I fully disagree with

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

notion that the community has to pay their own expenses for their well-being. First of ,all it is worth considering that there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a number of families who

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

live below the poverty line

as a result

Linking Words

they cannot afford household expenses. How ministry can expect from public to pay for its own

healthcare

Use synonyms

expenses? Let's take the example,

according to

Linking Words

the statistical data published in 2020 in the Times of India, India has more than seventy per cent population who live below the poverty line and do not get the proper amount of food.

In addition

Linking Words

to that if people

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

start paying their own medical bills as resulted authorities will lose all

control

Use synonyms

of the

healthcare

Use synonyms

system.

This

Linking Words

further

Linking Words

creates lots more problems like inflation in the medical industry. Not only

this

Linking Words

but it is worth considering that only Government can take significant measures to

control

Use synonyms

major illnesses like COVID-19 and malaria.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the ministry can open various Gym and Yoga centres to

control

Use synonyms

the ageing population. In conclusion, me Government should pay for the community's

healthcare

Use synonyms

facilities, not only because they are living under the poverty line, it is because the Government can keep track

and

Change preposition

of and

show examples

control

Use synonyms

the various major

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

with the help of worldwide

healthcare

Use synonyms

funds.

Anshloach187

Sep 2, 2022

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Task Response

Your essay does not fully address the task. It is important to carefully consider both the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and present clear arguments and examples to support your position. You need to provide a balanced view that fully addresses the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion through the use of transitional phrases and some signposting of ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive language, and the flow of ideas could be improved for better clarity and organization.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.