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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large amount of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child #amount
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In the busy life nowadays, parents do not always get to play with their
children
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. In order to solve the problem,
children
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 are provided with a significant amount of
toys
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 to keep them accompanied.
However
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, while keeping themselves entertained all the time,
this
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 can eventually
results
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result
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 in them being overweight. One of the essential advantages of giving young ones
toys
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 to play with is that they would not get bored and can play with their choice according to their mood and taste.
Beside
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Besides
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, playing with different kinds of treats can develop skills like problem-solving and organization, both being extremely beneficial for the child in the near future.
On the other hand
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, supplying offspring with a large sum of
toys
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 will lead them to be
overload
Wrong verb form
overloaded
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.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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toys
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 which are popular among
children
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,
such
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 as LEGO, are played
Change preposition
with indoor
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indoor
Correct your spelling
indoors
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, which reduces their physical activity to a great extent.
Moreover
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, having a huge number of
toys
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 makes
children
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 undervalue them,
therefore
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, making them obese and not helping them realise their worth. All in all,
although
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 giving them
enormous
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the enormous
an enormous
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figure
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figures
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 of trinkets will help them in improving various skills, parents should cut down on the number.
Furthermore
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, parents should try to motivate their
children
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 to increase their physical activity
even more
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, even more,
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 to save them from becoming obsessive.
Submitted by shin.le1988 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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