Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, people are worried about the youth's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
while socializing and most people think it is due to the working
parents
who can not spend much time with their
children
. Though there are controversies regarding the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why young generations are facing problems with their social life,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am not in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of making only
parents
responsible for
such
phenomena.
To begin
with, Kids are now more exposed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
devices like mobile, television, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer from the very early stage of their life. Since those devices have so many attractive features, with
increased
Add an article
an increased
the increased
show examples
level of accessibility
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
get easily addicted to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
their social interactions.
Therefore
, even if one of their
parents
is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day,
children
barely get in touch with them and rather stay busy with video games or other online sites.
Hence
growing up with devices changes their lifestyle in a way that they become unable to interact socially. Another point worth mentioning is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most
families
are now in
nuclear
Add an article
a nuclear
show examples
mode where
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
consists of only
parents
and
childre
Correct your spelling
children
whereas, in previous times
families
used to be extended with grad
parents
, uncles and aunts. In
such
extended
families
,
Children
used to grow up in a social environment and
thus
had more morality towards elders, but in nuclear
families
Add a comma
,families
show examples
children
are less likely to practice social norms and moralities which causes trouble
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
they step out of the
families
. In conclusion, the problem of young people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
socializing is something
that is
impacted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
several reasons rather than induced by
parents
spending less time with their
children
.
Submitted by Arnob Mitra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: