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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that media should not report detail of crimes to the public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #report #detail #crimes
Many
people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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 that the news shouldn't share details of the crimes, while some
other's
Change noun form
others
show examples
 thinks they should. While being properly informed about the events around us is important,
this
 thesis believes that providing
sensitive
Add an article
the sensitive
show examples
information
 to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 might cause
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in crime and violence. We are living in the
information
 age and getting the right
information
, especially
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 essential for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to be informed and to be safe.
However
, having reliable news becomes harder
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 due to social media.Today, fake news and wrong
information
 can spread rapidly.
That is
 the reason many
people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 should report all details
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they
informed
Add a missing verb
are informed
show examples
 correctly
instead
 of believing the wrong things.
For example
, without the crime details
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 can face attacks on social media with false accusations. Even
Correct your spelling
though
thogh
Correct your spelling
though
 they have logical reasons to support
this
 idea , I disagree with
this
 argument
Correct your spelling
because
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the following. Even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
information
, in bad
hands
Add the comma(s)
,hands
show examples
 can be
Correct your spelling
harmful
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
.
This
 is why
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that publishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sensitive
information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 crime might cause more violence.
First
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 it might be attractive to
people
 with bad intentions or worst it might give them
idea
Add an article
the idea
an idea
show examples
 to create
a similar acts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a similar act
similar acts
show examples
.
For example
, in past years, after a man burned a young girl in my city, there
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
 in similar way murders very rapidly. Because of the
danger
Add a comma
,danger
show examples
 it might cause, I believe not all
information
 shared with
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. To conclude,
although
 getting the right
information
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the bad actions around us
essential
Add a missing verb
is essential
show examples
, I strongly believe that, there should be some filtration about how much of the
information
 public should get.
Submitted by tugcekakirman on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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