There are many things that motivate a person to work, but money is the most compelling. In your opinion, how influential is the power of money?

#person #work #money #power

It is apparent that nowadays there are various reasons motivating

people

to continue to work in their jobs. It is widely believed that

money

is the most prominent factor.

However

, I disagree with

this

viewpoint and

also

consider that job

satisfaction

is more important than salary. The overall of both factors will be discussed in detail in the following paragraphs. It is true to say that

money

plays an essential role in many aspects of daily life.

For instance

, daily

expenditure

Fix the agreement mistake

expenditures

show examples

such

as food, personal expense, transportation, doom notation, and education, involves directly

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an income. It is undeniable that

money

affects the quality of life and status.

That is

why it can encourage

people

to stay in the workforce in order to earn a salary.

However

, the literal reason which inspires

people

is job

satisfaction

. Enjoying working provides them with a sense of

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, leading to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

growth in their career path. To illustrate,

people

tend to choose

Add an article

an occupation

show examples

occupation

Fix the agreement mistake

occupations

show examples

from their interests and deftness before looking for an income. Even if they are earning

high

Add an article

a high

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salary, but feel

stress

Wrong verb form

stressed

show examples

and work under pressure, they will not enjoy their life.

Consequently

, it might end with resigning. Compared to

people

who are working with happiness because they can do what they like which motivates and contributes to success in their jobs.

In other words

money

cannot guarantee

satisfaction

and ambition to keep working. In conclusion, I disagree that

money

is the most significant reason

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since I strongly believe that job

satisfaction

is the most necessary factor when considering the motivation of

people

in their career.

Submitted by ariyabiebl2608 on Fri Sep 02 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many things that motivate a person to work, but money is the most compelling. In your opinion, how influential is the power of money?

Fully explain your ideas

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.