Appearance isn’t everything ? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

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One
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the most important
trend
Change to a plural noun
trends

The singular countable noun trend follows the quantifier One, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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in today’s world is the sudden upsurge that
appearance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

plays a dominant role which takes the direction of widespread worry leading to a myriad of concerns in the world.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will demonstrate the positive and the negative aspects which
relates
Change the verb form
relate

The singular verb relates does not appear to agree with the plural subject the negative aspects. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to
appearance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

using a pragmatic approach. To commence with there are several arguments in favour of my stance and the most important
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the type of occasion where
appearance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is considered. In fact, people will judge your status upon your presentation. For an instance, you go to a marriage function at a
seven star
Add a hyphen
seven-star

It appears that seven star is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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hotel in beach shorts,
sleeveless
Correct article usage
a sleeveless

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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T-shirt with a pair of slippers and
hat
Correct article usage
a hat

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. The attendees at the event would judge your social grooming manners and poor dressing sense. In short,
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has to decide about
appearance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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according to the occasion
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

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Another crucial factor in the aforementioned statement is that
appearance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

does not matter when deciding a character of a person. As told by an English Author “ You cannot judge a person by their looks “. As
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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evidence, a
shoe maker
Correct your spelling
shoemaker

The word shoe maker seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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can turn into a president of a country. Abraham Lincoln who was the 16th president of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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was once a cobbler and his looks did not stop him
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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becoming a president. Overall,
appearance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

does not count in all situations especially when an individual wants to achieve their goal.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my opinion, the
appearance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is depends
Change the verb form
depends

It appears that the form of the verb depends does not work with is in this sentence.

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upon the occasion you are
involving
Wrong verb form
involved

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb involving. Consider changing it.

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in.
One
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

cannot decide a
Change noun form
person’s
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Change noun form
person’s

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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person’
Correct your spelling
person's
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character based on his looks and style.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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