Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why hapiness is difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

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A certain segment of individuals

argues

Correct subject-verb agreement

argue

show examples

that money can not buy happiness. In my opinion, it is possible for people to be happy even without having money and only aspects of life can

create

Verb problem

play

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a vital role in creating happiness.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is always not the property that makes people happy.

Although

Linking Words

having capital makes people happy, it is not

necessarily

Change the word

necessary

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to follow those folks without always suffering.

For example

Linking Words

, in the world's happiest country

list

Add a comma

list,

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Buthan ranks at number six, and it is not the wealthiest country in the world. So what makes Buthan the happiest person on the planet? It is none other than the simplicity of their lives. Simplicity can make a huge difference in the human mind, it can induce pleasure feelings in a person. folks can create their own exhilaration by changing aspects of the ways that they look into their lives.

For instance

Linking Words

, a doctor who works in a hospital works hard to earn wealth, sometimes he does a lot of private practice apart from the work he does in his hospital.

That is

Linking Words

because he thinks he can create enjoyment for himself by earning a lot of wealth, getting luxury cars, and living in a huge palace. But it can change his view to pursuing jubilation by seeing the smiles of his patients, he can become happy

while

Linking Words

doing

lesser

Correct word choice

less

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work.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will help to improve his personal health as well, which will become an additional advantage for him. In conclusion, bills are not always the key to enjoyment, sometimes simplicity and the ways of looking into our own lives can make an individual happy. So, it is better we do not chase huge desires which make us

overwhelm

Wrong verb form

overwhelmed

show examples

sprabasaraFri Sep 02 2022

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task response

Task Response: The essay provides a limited response to the question, focusing primarily on the relationship between money and happiness. It does not thoroughly address the reasons why happiness is difficult to define or how people can achieve it. To improve, ensure that all aspects of the question are fully addressed in a balanced manner.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear logical structure and does not have a well-developed introduction or conclusion. Additionally, the essay's main points are not well supported or connected, leading to a lack of coherence and cohesion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, use clear transition words, develop a well-structured introduction and conclusion, and ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why hapiness is difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

Your opinion

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and societies To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Some people hold that the development of modern science and technology leads to environmental pollution and energy shortage. What do you think ?