IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

#happiness #life #factors
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Being happy is a crucial goal in
people
Use synonyms
’s
lives
Use synonyms
. There are various reasons why it’s hard to have an acceptable definition of
happiness
Use synonyms
. There are
also
Linking Words
 many factors for us to gain
happiness
Use synonyms
 in our
lives
Use synonyms
. Defining
happiness
Use synonyms
 is hard due to various things.
First
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have different tastes in their
lives
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, while some
people
Use synonyms
 find
happiness
Use synonyms
 in their leisure time, others prefer to work to be happy. Another example is that some prefer to be with their friends and their families most of the time, and some prefer to be alone mostly.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the way
people
Use synonyms
 consider themselves happy in different cultures is different. To illustrate, in religious countries and cultures,
people
Use synonyms
 are happy for doing good things that lead them to eternal salvation, but
in contrast
Linking Words
, nonreligious
people
Use synonyms
 mostly find
happiness
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the moment they live in, not in the afterlife. There are various important aspects to consider for achieving
happiness
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 and most important is to find out what makes us happy in our
lives
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 try to achieve it.
For instance
Linking Words
, some may find
happiness
Use synonyms
 in getting retired soon and spend the rest of their
lives
Use synonyms
 travelling and visiting all around the world.
Conversely
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 may consider
happiness
Use synonyms
 as loving their work and having a good career. We can pursue whatever makes us happy in our
lives
Use synonyms
 and be happier
people
Use synonyms
 than before.
Second
Linking Words
, we should control not having high expectations from ourselves. If we have unreasonable expectations from our
lives
Use synonyms
, we will have a sense of insufficiency, and with
this
Linking Words
 mindset, we won’t achieve
happiness
Use synonyms
 very easily. To sum up,
happiness
Use synonyms
 is an important concept for mankind. The reasons why it’s hard to define are illustrated, and some factors in achieving
happiness
Use synonyms
 were suggested.
Submitted by Aynazabdiii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: