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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In order to learn about the way other people in the world live, it is better to look at film or video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#people #world #film #video #records #documents #idea
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From the past to the present, humans in one area are curious about the lives of their counterparts. Today, we have more different methods to know their lifestyles, including films, videos, books and so on, but some people hold the view that electronic approaches are better than traditional ones. I tend to disagree with
this
 view. It is undeniable that watching videos makes it easier to impress viewers.
That is
 because films are more vivid than printed books with the help of different stimulations, namely visual and auditory senses, which make them feel that they are experiencing the same stories and immerse themselves into what they are enjoying.
However
, it is important to consider the limitations of these visual sources. They are often subjective, reflecting the filmmaker’s perspective, and may not present a balanced view of the culture and lifestyle being portrayed.
Furthermore
, they are often edited for time constraints or dramatic effects, which can lead to oversimplification or distortion of reality. Obviously, written documents
also
 have unique and spontaneous strengths.
Although
 physical books only possess seemingly monotonous words, they can spark readers’ imagination to a larger extent. And those pictures thought by themselves are more powerful than those in videos.
However
, no one can guarantee the living pictures that are imagined
according to
 written documents are consistent with reality. In conclusion, both ways have their own benefits and drawbacks.
Therefore
, a balanced and blended approach, utilizing both visual media and written documents, is likely the most effective way to learn about the way other people in the world live. So, I do not agree simply
to conclude
 that newly emerging ways are better.
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task achievement
Strengthen your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly indicate your position. This will help to create a clearer roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Use more relevant specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the main idea of each paragraph is well-developed and clearly linked to the thesis.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view which is important for a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-supported.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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