IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

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Some
people
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 suggest that young
people
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 should take a
job
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 for some years between
school
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 and
university
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.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some gains from working in gap years, I believe that the drawbacks often
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
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 any gains. On the one hand, there are several reasons to support high
school
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students
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 to
work
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 before universities.
First
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 of all, the young are anxious to achieve quick success and get instant benefits. They think they can become successful easily.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they consider that they are well-educated and mature enough to
work
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society without
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university
Add an article
a university
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 education. What's more, they think working before
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university
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the university
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 can develop their skills.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in my eyes, high
school
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students
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 are too young to
work
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. They don’t have enough experience and professional skills for
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job
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the job
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. There are
also
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 some
evidents
Correct your spelling
evidence
events
 that support
people
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 to go to apply academy immediately after they graduate from
school
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, research shows
people
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 can learn fast when they are between seventeen and twenty-five years old.
Students
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 are supposed to learn professional knowledge and develop their ability to
work
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational institution
instead
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 of working immediately after high
school
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. What’s more,
students
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 who study in
applying
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forapplying
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 college after high
school
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 coherently are able to focus on studying without the interference of trivial matters in life.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, a
university
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 education is a stepping stone to a good
job
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. Companies take college diplomas seriously, and individuals with professional
certification
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certifications
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 can hardly get any
job
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. In conclusion, I think the
Correct your spelling
youngest
youngst
Correct your spelling
young
 shouldn’t take a position between high
school
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 and
university
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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. They are supposed to study at the academy coherently.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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