IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams like football, while other people thinuk that taking part in individual Sports like Tennis Or swimming is better .discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #part #sports #teams #football #thinuk #tennis
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Admittedly, sport is an activity that can challenge the human body. Some people advocate that it is ideal to participate in sports involving teams like volleyball and football. Others,
however
Linking Words
, think that taking part in individual
games
Use synonyms
 like tennis or swimming is better. At
this
Linking Words
 point of juncture, both these views are analysed in the ensuing paragraphs, while I believe individual sports are more beneficial because it more confidence in themselves. On the one hand, the prime reason why some people believe that playing physical activities in a group is better, rather than in singles is that group
games
Use synonyms
 help individuals to cooperate with others. To explain
further
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 individuals need consistent practice and determination to win a match in a team, it is equally crucial to have simultaneous communication and idea among co-
players
Use synonyms
 to put down the opponents.
In contrast
Linking Words
, mutual understanding, as well as strong cooperation, is the key to being successful.
For instance
Linking Words
, while passing the ball among other
players
Use synonyms
, football
players
Use synonyms
 should have substantial skills in transferring tactics about their
next
Linking Words
 moves to their teammates, which they learn eventually.
As a result
Linking Words
, they tend to respect others' views and ideas in their real life that they get used to during plays. In short, the betterment of the cooperative mentality is the major reason for people's attitudes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the reason why certain demographics of society including me believe that single
games
Use synonyms
 like swimming and shooting are more advantageous than multiplayer
games
Use synonyms
 is that
such
Linking Words
games
Use synonyms
 induce potential advantages to the player. To make it more clear, rather than relying on other
players
Use synonyms
' potential to defeat the opponent, the individual contestant needs to find plausible measures to avoid being destroyed by the counterparts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it helps them to believe in themselves in perplexing situations and fight against their weak side to win the match. Indeed, many tennis
players
Use synonyms
 around the world perform well after retiring from their tennis careers and have become successful in other fields after retirement. Overall, individual
games
Use synonyms
 not only improve
players
Use synonyms
' willpower and confidence but
also
Linking Words
 reflects better in real life. To conclude, even though multiplayer activities have meritorious aspects involved in it, individual sports have more merits in personal life.
Submitted by rlnambiar98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cooperation
  • Camaraderie
  • Teamwork
  • Shared responsibility
  • Personal goals
  • Individual glory
  • Self-reliance
  • Flexibility
  • Well-rounded
  • Athlete
  • Personal preference
  • Participation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: