The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today’s competitive society, an increasing number of
people
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have more workloads than in the past, which means they are carrying more burdens on their shoulders. Some
people
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believe that companies should provide their employees with more leisure
time
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to alleviate the pressure. As far as I am concerned, I agree that a shorter working week can bring many benefits,
although
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it will truly cause some problems.
Firstly
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, it is obvious that more
time
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for relaxation can bring health benefits. Long working hours may cause many diseases,
such
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as anxiety, depression, and even cardiovascular disease. A longer weekend means you have more
time
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to do exercise and prevent these diseases,
also
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you would have more ambition in order to do a better job
in
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at
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work. What is more,
people
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are able to spend
time
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with their families, and can enhance the bond between family members.
Moreover
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, a longer weekend can have a positive impact on the economy.
People
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can spend more on entertainment.
For example
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,
people
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are able to visit different cities, so they have to pay for transportation and a hotel.
In addition
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, they are more likely to go shopping, dine out, or attend cultural events
such
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as concerts and exhibitions.
This
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increased consumer spending can stimulate local businesses, create more job opportunities, and even boost the tourism industry. In the long run, the additional revenue generated from leisure-related activities can contribute to the growth of the national economy. Admittedly,
although
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there are many positive impacts, it will
also
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cause some problems. Lessening working
time
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will influence salary, which may lower the living standards. If employees’ working hours are reduced without an equivalent increase in productivity, companies may have to cut wages to balance their costs. For low-income workers
in particular
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, even a slight reduction in salary could mean struggling to afford necessities
such
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as rent, food, and healthcare.
Furthermore
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, small businesses may find it difficult to maintain profitability if they are forced to pay the same wages for fewer working hours, which could eventually lead to layoffs or even business closures. In conclusion, a shorter working
time
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can bring many advantages for families and countries, but
can
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it can
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not deny that it has many possible disadvantages that should be considered.

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structure
Make your view clear in the first line and keep it in all big points.
cohesion
Use link words to join ideas and show the flow from one idea to the next.
content
Give more exact facts or events to back each reason.
style
Use short, simple sentences to keep easy reading.
view
Clear stance kept through most of the essay.
content
Good list of ideas with examples.
cohesion
Use of linking words helps flow.
structure
Paragraphs are well split and ideas are in a good order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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