IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternative ways. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

#people #tax #industries #pollution #alternative
It is considered by some that rising tax on different industries leads to lower exhaust fumes and emissions, while there are others who think that the problem can be tackled
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other ways. Increasing the mandatory amount of money which factories pay May result in them being less productive and other approaches to pollution problems might not be largely efficient, but I firmly believe that alternative ways would be a better choice. Apparently, a wide range of businesses pay large amounts of money as taxes annually, which has inclined them to set lesser salaries for the workforce and
also
 produce not high-quality products.
Although
 forcing industries to pay more tax may decline the pollution made by them, it would lower
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job satisfaction
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 workers.Like what happened in India after people started receiving lower salaries. considering other approaches
such
 as giving more benefits to the companies which do not pass the limits of producing emissions or to the ones that build parks seems more appealing to people.
This
 will encourage industries to cause less pollution and earn the benefits,
furthermore
,
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 environmental issues.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
Netherlands
Add a comma
,Netherlands
show examples
 some factories started building parks in order to avoid environmental problems and after years they even had more
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
 in possession
in addition
 to providing
greenlands
Change the capitalization
Greenlands
show examples
 in the country. To conclude, by taking into account that increasing taxes puts more strain on the workforce and
also
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of alternative ways, I strongly believe in making use of other options.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution reduction
  • accountable
  • cleaner technologies
  • tax revenue
  • environmental projects
  • mitigate pollution
  • stricter regulations
  • public awareness campaigns
  • behavior change
  • sustainable practices
  • incentives
  • green technology adoption
  • negative economic consequences
  • alternative methods
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!