IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people believe that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positives effects. To extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #aid #countries #effects #positives
It is contentious whether the drawbacks would outweigh the benefits after an impoverished country receives assistance. I believe aids will conduct more salutary impacts than bad ramifications. There are several benefits after a poorer region gets support.
Firstly
, it is obvious that people’s life quality would be enhanced by the development of some fundamental facilities
such
 as schools, hospitals and transportation. With the improvement of citizens’ living ambient, they tend to be more upbeat and industrious to reinforce their land, and
further
 revive the economy into a flourishing state.
For example
, China has always been helping impoverished countries especially by donating money directly and sending scientists, engineers and managers to build highways, railways and bridges. Those assistances all lead to a promising future for these lands.
On the other hand
, it will
also
 cause negative impacts on those aided countries. Local governments tend to over-rely on support, and
then
 lose their own destination of getting rid of the poor plight by themselves.
Therefore
,
such
 over-reliance would hinder the long-term progress of the country itself.
For example
, Pakistan is completely relying on the financial assistance of developed societies
such
 as America, China, and Russia, which has obstructed the development of the country and compelled it to be reliant on them. Another negative effect is that the financial relief given by the developed society may go into corrupt hands and not reach those for whom it was meant.
As a result
,
such
 assistance may not serve the purpose. In conclusion,
although
 risks exist in being supported, I argue that the aids themselves would contribute more instrumental influences to a poorer agrarian.
Submitted by 1606127800 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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