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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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Developing human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 must be the primary goal of
science
.
Firstly
, scientific conduct is considered as gathering facts and analysing them in order to increase their transparency;
further
, the latter fact has always been used for men
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to find solutions to life conflicts.
On the other hand
, the only use left to consider as a point for doing
science
 would be war and hurting other human kinds, so I suggest staying with the former and emphasising its benefits rather than the latter.
To begin
 with, we had better revise the concept of
science
. It was the human's tendency and only option to search and learn about unknown and mysterious occupations occurring in his life to survive and ease tough situations.
For instance
, the creation of antibiotics to eliminate viruses, or finding alcohol is to be mentioned as valuable achievements by scientists among many others founded after all those years passage.
However
, if we don't involve
science
 in human life improvements, what else will remain except using it for deconstructive activities which leads us to an unpleasant being making the world more horrible and unsafe? We already have experienced
such
 decisions causing many terrifying coincidences. Atomic bombs launched on Japan, and toxic missiles used in a variety of wars like Chernobyl are enough to mention as examples of
this
 pathway. In conclusion,
while
science
 is capable of bringing many unpredicted inventions, it is wise to point at its positive aspects rather than negative ones.
In addition
, it is better to remind ourselves why we started to use
this
 utility so that we won't be distracted from the main point and avoid misbehaves.
Submitted by farr.shad.k on

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task achievement
Try to develop and elaborate on your main ideas with more details and depth. This will help convey a more comprehensive understanding of your points.
task achievement
Ensure your examples are directly tied to your main points to strengthen your argument. Including more specific details could enhance your task response.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow between ideas by using more linking words and phrases. This will reinforce the connections between your paragraphs and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and sets the stage for the essay.
coherence cohesion
You successfully included both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
The essay maintains focus on the main argument that science should aim to improve lives, demonstrating a good overall task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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