More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

#children #countries #obesity

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The number of

children

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with overweight is significantly increasing especially in developed parts of the world and

this

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is becoming a serious

health

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issue in developing countries. The prime causes for kids becoming more fatty are their bad food habits and lack of exercise. As they have a very good economy they have tended to consume expensive but unhealthy food and beverages.

Further

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,they have become very lethargic due to addiction to digital screens

such

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as smartphones, tabs and computers. There are different non-communicable diseases

such

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as diabetes Mellitus, Hypertension and cardiac problems directly associated with

obesity

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as well as a sedentary lifestyle the individuals. It is observed that the mortality rate of young people due to heart diseases becoming high nowadays despite the presence of the advanced

health

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care system.

Nevertheless

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obesity

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directly affects the day-to-day life and education of

children

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as it causes daytime sleepiness and lethargy. Education of the

children

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and their parents regarding

obesity

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and its

health

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hazards should be done at school levels as well as at national levels by using mass media.

Furthermore

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, the implementation of exercises program in schools and the organization of sports events annually are very important steps to overcome

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this problems

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this problem

these problems

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. Other than that, changing their food habits towards a healthy diet

such

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as vegetables and fruits would be a solution to resolve

this

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problem. To conclude,

obesity

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has become a serious

health

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issue in

children

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of wealthy countries in the world due to their sedentary lifestyle. Necessary actions

such

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as promoting exercise and making changes to their meal pattern should be done to overcome

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this problems

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

Submitted by sandamalipc1 on Sat Sep 03 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
Type 2 diabetes
heart disease
asthma
psychological impact
self-esteem
bullying
depression
nutrition
balanced diet
physical activity
healthcare costs
economic consequences
parental involvement

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?