some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do agree or dis agree ?.

There is no denying the fact that

education

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is a vital thing in our lives.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that full-time

education

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should be given to adolescents until they are 18 years old, there is

also

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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

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view.

To begin

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, the

education

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of children should follow a full-time program until they reach 18 years old,

this

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concept will provide them with many benefits.

In other words

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, they will focus only on their studies, so the prospect of achieving success will be high.

In addition

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this

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opportunity allows them to contact their teachers and tutors for a long time, so they can learn ethical principles in a way, which encourages them to be active members of their societies. Another point to consider is that the risk of children going astray becomes very low because they spend the vast majority of their time in school, or institutes. It is

also

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possible to say that they will have a lot of time, so they can practice various activities,

such

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as playing music, painting, drawing, or sculpture.

Moreover

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, the probability of discovering talented students in various fields will rise, and the teachers should help and support them.

For instance

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, the well-known British scientist, William Perkin was a gifted student in chemistry and his teacher supported him, he made a breakthrough in the manufacture of industrial dies of fabrics. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I tend to believe that if students get full-time

education

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programs until 18 years old, tremendous positive impacts will accomplished for students and their countries. Surely, they will play a great role in the progress of their nations.

sm710129

May 12, 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, aim to provide a more diverse range of examples and evidence. While the mention of William Perkin adds value, incorporating examples from different contexts or areas could strengthen your argument further.

Coherence & Cohesion

While your essay has good logical structure, introduction, and conclusion, it's beneficial to ensure that all paragraphs smoothly transition from one to the next. Using a range of cohesive devices beyond basic linking words could enhance the flow of ideas further.

Coherence & Cohesion

When developing your main points, consider expanding on how full-time education until 18 impacts societal progress more specifically. This would enrich the support for your argument and provide a deeper analysis.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear thesis statement and conclusion, effectively outlining your stance and summarizing key points.

Task Achievement

You have successfully supported your main arguments with relevant examples, particularly the reference to William Perkin, which adds credibility and interest to your writing.

Task Achievement

Your essay demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic, with clear articulation of your viewpoint and logical argumentation supporting it.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do agree or dis agree ?.

Cycling is the healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transportation. Nevertheless, cycling is getting less popular. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to make cycling more popular?

Some people think that family life and parents have great influence on children’s development, while others consider that external influence plays a more important role in children’s life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think children should do extra-classes after school. Others disagree and say they should play sports outside their school hours. What is your opinion on this? Suggest healthy ways for children to develop.

You have recently faced a problem at the airport. An employee of the airport helped you with this matter. Write a letter to the airport manager and say - What was the problem - How did that person help you - Suggest the manager to praise this employee in some way.