IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Prevention is better than cure.” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#“prevention #cure #country’s #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures
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Although
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 It is a great idea to educate people about their healthcare and
well being
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well-being
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,
however
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 spending a big part of
medical
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the medical
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fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 for
this
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 purpose can be challenging for both
Use synonyms
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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care
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 professionals and
public
Correct article usage
the public
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. I disagree with the opinion of spending a big part of
money
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 reserved for medical emergencies, on
health
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education
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.
Health
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 Awareness is vital for a
Correct your spelling
healthy
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
 society ,but In my opinion
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should allocate a different fund for
this
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,
instead
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 of using
money
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 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
funds
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.
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 public awareness can
we
Correct your spelling
be
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Correct your spelling
possible
possibly
posible
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possible
 even
in
Change preposition
on
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 a very small budget,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 social media can be used for
this
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 purpose ,
also
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health
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care
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 professionals can do it face to face during
patients
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patient
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 visits.
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Lastly
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,Lastly
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 with the help of social
care
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workers
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,workers
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this
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 task can be achieved. All of these can be done
witout
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without
speding
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spending
alot
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a lot
lot
 of medical from treatment
funds
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. Considering
current
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the current
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situation
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situations
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 like
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 pandemic
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government
govrnment
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government
 should be
mimdfull
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mindful
about
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of
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 the
money
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 allocated for medical usage.
Its
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It's
It is
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 really important to have enough resources in case of an emergency. And
this
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 can only be possible if the
money
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 is spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 treatment
Correct your spelling
instead
instesd
Correct your spelling
instead
 of,
health
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education
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. There is no doubt that
,
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apply
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the utmost priority should be
health
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care
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 .And
this
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 can only be achieved if, there are enough
funds
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 for
this
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 purpose. Spending a bigger chunk of
money
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 on
health
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education
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, from medical
funds
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 can hamper the utmost goal. In the
end
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,end
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would like to say that both,
health
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education
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 and
health
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care
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 are important for a healthy and happy society,
however
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 medical treatment is a necessity and should
be get
Change the verb form
get
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 priority over
health
Use synonyms
 awareness.
Submitted by nidhis1208 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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