A person's worth nowadays seems to judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned value, such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undeniable that
people
at present are judged based on social position and personal abundance, traditional and
cultures Correct word choice
apply
such
as integrity and humanity are being forgotten. To a certain extent, I would agree with the fact that people
are valued based on their riches and condition these days, but I also
believe that old-cultured still play an important part in our societies.
First
of all, we are living in the pop culture and materialistic era these days, as the public judge each individual based on how wealthy people
.
It can be seen from how celebrities become famous nowadays. Many celebrities are Add a missing verb
are.
being
popular because of their physical appearance. One of the examples would be Paris Hilton. Unnecessary verb
apply
Although
she has many bad attitudes, she is still popular because she inherits the assets of her parents. It seems that most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
want to have more money to live Change the pronoun
their
them
life like Correct your spelling
the
the
rich Correct article usage
apply
people
.
On the other hand
, Some old-fashioned values are much more important than money. This
is because no one can undermine a gold heart and it is rarer than just a coin. For example
, the individual who dovolunteers
Correct your spelling
volunteers
such
as fire fighting and animal saving foundation. As a result
that children have a
good role Correct article usage
apply
model
to mimic in future, it is important for adults to educate their children about these positive values because they still play an essential part in the societies.
In conclusion, even though Fix the agreement mistake
models
public
Add an article
the public
are
judged based on their wealth and social status nowadays, I do believe that old-fashioned values Change the verb form
is
such
as honour, respect and trust cannot be eliminated from our daily lives. Therefore
we must teach our young generation about these cultures, in order for them to survive and succeed in the future.Submitted by chumposo on
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