In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Whether old
people
or children are more valuable is a highly controversial discussion point.
This
writer contends that youth is superior
due to
major development and potential, despite those who believe that old age provides more experience. It is vital to understand that adolescence plays the most significant role in forming one’s life. It should be self-evident that
people
are much more vulnerable to changes during puberty in terms of physical strength and mental health.
As a result
, many teenagers become much stronger and have a steadier mind before growing up to be adults.
According to
many studies, puberty is considered to be the most important time of one’s development and it should be utilized to the fullest.
However
, critics
justifying
Wrong verb form
justify
show examples
that old-timers are far wiser than their young counterparts. They argue that a person acquires more experience the longer they live.
This
may be a valid point, but
such
wisdom from the elders can be found in books or passed down from past generations.
Consequently
, young
people
can learn from other’s wisdom and
additionally
from outside information. Another point worth considering is that the youth has great potential for things lying in front of them.
In other words
,
people
in their prime have the ability to learn and train new skills
as well as
knowledge.
This
allows them to go beyond their previous generations and surpass many obstacles of the past. Take Vietnam
for example
, its government treasures children as they believe that they will lead the country to a better future. Taking everything into account, young
people
have many changes to go through and the talent that can overwhelm the intelligence of the older.
Therefore
,
this
essay has demonstrated clear points as to why youth should be considered more important than old age.

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Introduction & Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, but try to make your thesis statement more explicit to help the reader understand your standpoint from the beginning.
Examples & Evidence
Develop your paragraphs with more specific examples. Your essay mentions studies and the case of Vietnam but does not delve into details. Providing detailed examples will strengthen your arguments and support your main points more effectively.
Linking words & Paragraphing
Transition more smoothly between points to improve the flow of your essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect sentences and paragraphs, enhancing coherence.
Task Response
Fully address both views before presenting your own opinion to meet the task's requirements better. While your opinion is clear, a more balanced discussion of both views with equal depth would enhance your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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