IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children should do what their parents tell them to do; others think children must learn to think for themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 will always become a hot topic in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society that should we give
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation liberty to do whatever they want. A portion of the community
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
care takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
 have full right to control over their lives while
bold minded
Add a hyphen
bold-minded
show examples
 and I believe, they ought to understand the importance of
independence
Add an article
the independence
show examples
 of
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 thoughts and emotions. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views are elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs of
this
Linking Words
 article with suitable examples. To commence with, the
controlabilty
Correct your spelling
controllability
 of guardians on their children's
life
Use synonyms
. They think that
Correct your spelling
they
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 are not mature enough so they can easily
trapped
Change the verb form
be trapped
show examples
 by
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
unethical people or even
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
indulge themselves in illegal activities because they are not well known about the consequences. That's why they need to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 them. Another valuable point for
this
Linking Words
 is,
parents
Correct word choice
that parents
show examples
 are their
Add a hyphen
well-wishers
show examples
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
 wishers and they always want to provide
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 support them whenever they need like when a person is going through from hard time their
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
care takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
 always stand with him and conceal
with
Correct pronoun usage
him with
show examples
 motivational stories.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some support the practical approach as they opine boldness
Correct word choice
and improvise
show examples
improvise
Correct subject-verb agreement
improvises
show examples
 the confidence level of a person which is a key component to
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 success in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, freedom provides a great exposure of knowledge to them regarding every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their instant reaction capability is improved and bravely they will cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with any kind of situation. According to a finding, to exemplify,
Add an article
a youngster
the youngster
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 who
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 their own decisions are bliss with great
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills. In conclusion, both the approaches have their own significance in young people's
life
Use synonyms
 journey but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely go with the latter idea as with
this
Linking Words
 they become courageous as well as learn about numerous prospectives of
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by paulankush05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obey
  • authority
  • guidance
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • mistakes
  • independent
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: