IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that phones should be banned from secondary schools. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons.

Some individuals say that telephones should be banned
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from
fron
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from
 secondary schools. I totally agree with
this
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 opinion. In
this
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 essay, I will give reasons why I fully agree with it. Some people indicate that
phones
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 should be banned from junior high schools because
their
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of their
show examples
disavantages
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disadvantages
. It is true that we should not underestimate the dark side of
cell
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phones
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.
Firstly
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, some
students
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 can use
phones
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 in
class
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 to help them cheat. For a realistic example, a major study of U.S
students
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 showed that more than 35
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of teenagers said they had used a
cell
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 phone to cheat in
class
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.
Secondly
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, when
phones
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 are used in
class
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,
students
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 without them can feel left out.
Students
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 who don't have it cannot fully participate in
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class
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a class
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 or
being
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are being
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 teased for being different.
For instance
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, a teen
cannot
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who cannot
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 afford that device will be picked on by his peers because he is different.
Lastly
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, allowing
phones
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 in classes can keep
students
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 from staying focused in
class
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. A
cell
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 phone can not only distract the person using it but
also
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 the people around them. It is true that if a
cell
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 phone rings or
make
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makes
show examples
 other noises in
class
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, it can distract the
class
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. In conclusion, some people say that
phones
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 should be banned from secondary schools. I totally agree with
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this
thiis
Correct your spelling
this
 because I believe that
phones
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 can cause distraction and other problems in
class
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. I recommend that parents should consider
carefully
Correct pronoun usage
this carefully
show examples
 and have an informed opinion before letting their offspring use
phones
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 in
class
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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