Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #workers #doctors #teachers #sports #entertainment #personalities

While many believe that professional careers should be supported rather than sports and

entertainment

personalities, some opponents consider that allocation for

entertainment

jobs

might make contributions to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society one way or another. I agree with the latter argument and my reasons will be elaborated on

this

Change preposition

in this

show examples

essay.

To begin

with, it might seem sensible for some that doctors and teachers should receive well-paid because these kinds of

jobs

play an essential role in our society

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days. To simply explain, the public sectors

such

as healthcare and education could directly benefit citizens. Without sufficient funding to support teachers, children in the future will lack quality knowledge. Most of the teachers in Thailand,

for example

, have always been overlooked and have been given unsuitable wages.

Consequently

, many people who have potential tend to opt for well-paid

jobs

instead

of public

jobs

. From

this

perspective, it is logical why some have the opinion that governments should solely consider these areas.

However

, I would personally argue in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of paying

entertainment

Change preposition

for entertainment

show examples

industries including sports, arts, and music should

also

be taken into consideration by governments. To illustrate,

although

working in these areas seems to be unnecessary, they could cure the mental health of many people. Anxiety disorder,

for example

, is one of the most severe diseases that citizens suffer from in

this

day and age. If people feel too stressed from working for a long period, visiting

art

Correct article usage

an art

show examples

gallery could help them release their anxiety.

Therefore

entertainment

careers should be encouraged to help our societies. In conclusion,

although

it is undeniable that social

jobs

should earn more return, I am of the opinion that the world could reap great benefits the

entertainment

personalities.

Submitted by toht.sirisithichote1 on Sun Sep 04 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Professional workers
Societal contribution
Scarcity
Market forces
Consumer demand
Role models
Economic impact
Revenue generation
Fair compensation
Social equity
Intrinsic rewards
Job satisfaction
Media rights
Merchandise sales
Public figures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some employees consider job satisfaction as the crucial thing that should be pursued, while others are more concerned about job security. There are two contrasting views regarding this which we will discuss here.
5.5
band
With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?
The inexorable surge of global energy demands, particularly oil and gas have led to an intensified search for untouched reserves. While the search has merits in meeting our energy needs, it can also cause profound consequences to the pristine environments.The question is whether the advantage of satisfying human own demands or the disadvantage of the potential environmental harm.
7.5
band
You have just moved into a new home and are plannig to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter . introduce yourself . discribe your plans for the party . invite your neibourhour to come
Hope you are doing great. My name is Gurpinder Kaur and I moved next to your house with my family this week. However, I am writing this letter to apologise in advance to you due to late night first house warming as well as a birthday party of my son next weekend.
6.5
band
As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The world has become a small village since the internet, computers, planes and trains appeared. They could connect people from the north to the south and from the east to the west together easily, without barriers. Either through long-distance relationships or meeting foreign people in reality. For instance; students at universities are open to multi-national students, hospitals attract doctors from all over the world, etc. As a consequence, the globalization phenomenon has arisen to unite the cultural identity of the world. As expected, many people are afraid to lose their own cultural identity. In this essay, I will argue that it's not the communities' right to protect their own traditions, as many of them are unbearable.
5
band
Some people think that young children need to attend nursery before primary school. While others believe young children can spend all day at home. Duscuss both views and give your opinion.
People are divided into two parts for ,how young children should start their educational carrier, via nursery or direct primary school admission ,opponents and supporters of the view ,have a firm belief for their own ideas. In the essay ,I will elaborate on both options in detail, but in the end ,I think attending a nursery should be more fruitful.

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

You have just moved into a new home and are plannig to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter . introduce yourself . discribe your plans for the party . invite your neibourhour to come

Some people think that young children need to attend nursery before primary school. While others believe young children can spend all day at home. Duscuss both views and give your opinion.