Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

For centuries, how to be happy is still a question for humans, but most
people
in the world believe that you can enjoy your
life
and experience
happiness
also
when you are not rich.
However
,
happiness
is hard to reach for some
people
because they always want more and the solution for
that is
to just be happy with whatever you have which in
this
essay I discussed.
Happiness
and
feeling
Replace the word
feelings
show examples
like that were always impossible for some
people
to find because they place high and extreme factors on their
happiness
. It means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they can not be happy and enjoy their
life
if they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
pass their factors and have whatever they want.
For example
, some
people
are always sorrowful about why they are not wealthy and it will hurt their
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
so they can not
sense
Verb problem
feel
show examples
any
enjoy feel
Wrong verb form
enjoyment
show examples
inside themself.
Thus
, those
people
make themself abandon
happiness
by
putting
Verb problem
leaving
show examples
their goals unreachable.
On the other hand
, other groups of
people
find that you do not have to be rich or strong to achieve
happiness
. You just have to accept yourself and whatever you have and try to spend your
life
with them.
For instance
, a guy who works in an office and has a normal car like Toyota is enjoying his
life
because he is happy with his property and he does not want to cry in a corner because he does not have a Lamborgini.
Therefore
, being a happy person in the community is not about your car and your house, actually is about yourself and your perspective of the world. In conclusion,
happiness
is hard to reach for some
people
because they always need more and think they can be happy only if they have luxury items and more properties, but if they just enjoy the moment and what they have, achieving
happiness
will be way
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
.
Submitted by jaberi.mahyar on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the supporting points lack development and clarity. The examples provided are relevant but need further elaboration and explanation. More focus on each main point is needed to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the question but lacks depth and development. The main arguments need to be more clearly linked and elaborated upon to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic. Furthermore, the response does not fully address the second part of the question, which is how people can achieve happiness. More detail and depth are required to fully respond to the task. Refer to the essay question and ensure all aspects are addressed in the response.

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