Some believe that children nowadays have too much freedom .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #children #freedom

Nowadays in many countries,

people

are following the latest

fashion

, hairstyles and so on. Is it a positive or a negative development?

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đỏ:

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Grammar

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vàng:

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Spelling

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xanh lá:

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dấu câu

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cam:

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xanh dương:

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tím:

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coherence and cohesion Write a full essay on

this

topic: Nowadays in many countries,

people

are following the latest

fashion

, hairstyles and so on. Is it a positive or a negative development? We live in an age when many of us actively try to keep up with the latest

fashion

trends

While

this

phenomenon does, in fact, present many benefits, it is my opinion that

this

is a negative trend. On the one hand,

people

’s interest in new and trendy outfits has several positive effects. First of all, it has a huge impact on the

fashion

industry, as there is an increase in demand for more recent outfits. The reason for

this

phenomenon is that many of us are more attracted to items considered to be fashionable by others and wish to obtain them as fast as possible.

This

will greatly contribute to the development of the

fashion

industry and when the industry becomes bigger, more opportunities for jobs will be available.

Secondly

, individuals who possess these trendy items will experience a great boost in confidence. When they put on these kinds of

clothes

, they can take pride in the fact that what they are wearing is deemed fashionable and stylish.

On the other hand

, there exist many drawbacks when so many

people

are too focused on the trend of

fashion

Firstly

, those who actively chase the new

trends

are likely to lose their own style and taste in

fashion

. Many will purchase an outfit for the sake of being trendy rather than for their fondness. Unfortunately,

this

kind of purchase

that is

based on what others think is unlikely to satisfy the buyers. All those costly

clothes

will lose their value and rarely be used when they go out of style, which means it is a big waste of money.

Secondly

, the inclination of keeping up with the latest

fashion

will leave a negative impact on the environment. The increasing demand for

clothes

will cause the production rate to proliferate significantly, and that would prove to be detrimental to the environment as the need for resources will rise and the amount of carbon footprint released into the air will only be added.

Moreover

this

tendency will develop in many a habit of judging

people

on their choice of

clothes

Furthermore

, it will generate a discrimination among those who are not actively following the

trends

, which are very concerning as

this

can affect the mentality of those non - followers negatively. In conclusion,

although

it is undeniable that the advantages of keeping up with

fashion

trends

are indeed transparent, I still firmly believe that

this

is a negative tendency.

Submitted by nghiemthanhlong432005 on Sun Sep 04 2022

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

488 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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