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Writing Samples
Band 7

Telephones should be banned from secondary schools agree or disagree with reasons

#telephones #schools
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There has been a controversy about whether
telephones
 should be banned from secondary schools. I agree with
this
 argument, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First
, teenagers are susceptible to electronic devices. As we know, in order to better sell games, these game companies will add different elements to make games more attractive;
in other words
, there are countless temptations in games, and they are invariably addictive.
Therefore
, teenagers, especially secondary school students, are still in a stage of mental development;
hence
, they are easily susceptible to their surroundings. At
this
 point, should
telephones
 are not controlled strictly, they can prevent children from concentrating on their studies.
Second
, they have negative physical impacts. According to some statistical figures, there is an increase in the myopic rate of children worldwide, and electronic devices, especially
telephones
, are one of the biggest contributors. It's expected that doing sports can protect our eyesight to a large extent because when we are outdoors, we can absorb sunlight, which is vital for our eyesight.
On the contrary
, it's commonplace that when we start using our phones, we will spend at least hours on them.
Hence
, without the protection of sunlight, our eyesight can be worsened considerably.
Third
, banning
telephones
 can better protect students' privacy. Take me as an example. Whenever I create an account online, the websites constantly ask me to fill out personal information.
Thus
, there is a risk that my information can be leaked. The same situation with secondary school students; scammers can use their information to do some online scams. In conclusion, I believe
telephones
 should be banned from secondary schools.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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