IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insect as a food source. However, some people believe that insect are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drowbacks of eating insects?

#food #support #population #country #insect #source #people #nature #drowbacks #insects
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Nowadays, as well known, our planet has
constantly
Correct article usage
a constantly
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 growing population. Due to
this
Linking Words
, countries should make use
edible
Change preposition
of edible
show examples
insects
Use synonyms
 as a
food
Use synonyms
 source.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that harvesting
insects
Use synonyms
 can negatively affect nature. So, from my point of view, It benefits both society and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 positively.
First
Linking Words
, with growing
food
Use synonyms
 demand all over the world, sustainable insect farming can provide an alternative source of protein which requires fewer
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 than
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an equivalent amount from traditional protein sources. The culinary aspects of edible
insects
Use synonyms
 provide variety in
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
use of edible
insects
Use synonyms
 as
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 might end
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 hunger, in Africa,
for instance
Linking Words
. In fact, restaurants and
food
Use synonyms
 markets can make a lot of money by including
insects
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 cuisines, attracting more customers and serving starters, and salads that
contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
insects
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many street
food
Use synonyms
 shops in Thailand and China
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
serve salads, breakfast with
insects
Use synonyms
 and other
food
Use synonyms
 items are expanding
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 business because the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of customers
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increasing on daily basis.
In addition
Linking Words
, we
also
Linking Words
 should think about our ecological situation. The farming of
insects
Use synonyms
 gives rise to a steady supply of waste products that can be used to fertilize soils and improve crop growth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, domesticated
food
Use synonyms
-producing animals produce methane which causes the greenhouse effect.
Finally
Linking Words
, there are so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 opinions: opposite and the same. And I assume, that
argues
Replace the word
arguments
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between
Change preposition
about
show examples
 how and what to eat better will never end.
However
Linking Words
, each person has a right to choose how to live and what to eat. And no one can choose better than you.
Submitted by snake_shoulders on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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