IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

#people #meat
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People
Use synonyms
’s
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 differ, as to whether or not
people
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 should eat
meat
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. While there are some strong arguments in favour of vegetarianism, I still believe that
meat
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 is necessary for
people
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’s health up to certain age. There are several reasons why
people
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 should
et
Correct your spelling
eat
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meat
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.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it has a great nutritious role in our daily diet.
For instance
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, minerals like zinc, magnesium and ferrous are very common in lambs and beef and may lead to an increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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blood quality and boost our immune system.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country
pediatricians
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paediatricians
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 highly recommend
to give
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giving
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 kids lamb, because it is rich in vitamins B3, B6,
B12
Correct word choice
and B12
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 and these vitamins are very important for efficient energy, amino acid and red blood
cells
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cell
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 production.
In addition
Linking Words
, chicken breasts have been used by athletes as a requirement in their special training.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many doctors say that there are many benefits
in
Change preposition
to
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 vegetarianism.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it reduces
risks
Correct article usage
the risks
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 of heart diseases and cancers
such
Linking Words
 as colon cancer.
Second
Linking Words
, the risk of obesity and high blood pressure is
also
Linking Words
 lower.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the health issues, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
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have
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 chosen vegetarianism, believe that we should treat animals in a human way. Religions like Buddhism and Judaism, have
teaching
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taught
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on
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about
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 the humane treatment of animals or strict rules about diet. Everybody knows that
cow
Correct article usage
the cow
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 is a sacral animal in India. In conclusion, modern ideas about health,
environment
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environmental
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 concerns and the ethical treatment of animals have persuaded an increasing number of
people
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 in recent years to become vegetarians. But I still believe that
meat
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 is an essential part of our diet table
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 for youngsters.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

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