IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

#people #meat
People
’s
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 differ, as to whether or not
people
 should eat
meat
. While there are some strong arguments in favour of vegetarianism, I still believe that
meat
 is necessary for
people
’s health up to certain age. There are several reasons why
people
 should
et
Correct your spelling
eat
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meat
.
First
 of all, it has a great nutritious role in our daily diet.
For instance
, minerals like zinc, magnesium and ferrous are very common in lambs and beef and may lead to an increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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blood quality and boost our immune system.
For example
, in my country
pediatricians
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paediatricians
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 highly recommend
to give
Change the verb form
giving
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 kids lamb, because it is rich in vitamins B3, B6,
B12
Correct word choice
and B12
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 and these vitamins are very important for efficient energy, amino acid and red blood
cells
Change the noun form
cell
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 production.
In addition
, chicken breasts have been used by athletes as a requirement in their special training.
On the other hand
, many doctors say that there are many benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 vegetarianism.
Firstly
, it reduces
risks
Correct article usage
the risks
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 of heart diseases and cancers
such
 as colon cancer.
Second
, the risk of obesity and high blood pressure is
also
 lower.
In addition
 to the health issues, the majority of
people
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 chosen vegetarianism, believe that we should treat animals in a human way. Religions like Buddhism and Judaism, have
teaching
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taught
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
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 the humane treatment of animals or strict rules about diet. Everybody knows that
cow
Correct article usage
the cow
show examples
 is a sacral animal in India. In conclusion, modern ideas about health,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 concerns and the ethical treatment of animals have persuaded an increasing number of
people
 in recent years to become vegetarians. But I still believe that
meat
 is an essential part of our diet table
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for youngsters.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

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