IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

#people #meat
People
’s
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 differ, as to whether or not
people
 should eat
meat
. While there are some strong arguments in favour of vegetarianism, I still believe that
meat
 is necessary for
people
’s health up to certain age. There are several reasons why
people
 should
et
Correct your spelling
eat
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meat
.
First
 of all, it has a great nutritious role in our daily diet.
For instance
, minerals like zinc, magnesium and ferrous are very common in lambs and beef and may lead to an increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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blood quality and boost our immune system.
For example
, in my country
pediatricians
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paediatricians
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 highly recommend
to give
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giving
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 kids lamb, because it is rich in vitamins B3, B6,
B12
Correct word choice
and B12
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 and these vitamins are very important for efficient energy, amino acid and red blood
cells
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cell
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 production.
In addition
, chicken breasts have been used by athletes as a requirement in their special training.
On the other hand
, many doctors say that there are many benefits
in
Change preposition
to
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 vegetarianism.
Firstly
, it reduces
risks
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the risks
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 of heart diseases and cancers
such
 as colon cancer.
Second
, the risk of obesity and high blood pressure is
also
 lower.
In addition
 to the health issues, the majority of
people
 who
has
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have
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 chosen vegetarianism, believe that we should treat animals in a human way. Religions like Buddhism and Judaism, have
teaching
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taught
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on
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about
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 the humane treatment of animals or strict rules about diet. Everybody knows that
cow
Correct article usage
the cow
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 is a sacral animal in India. In conclusion, modern ideas about health,
environment
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environmental
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 concerns and the ethical treatment of animals have persuaded an increasing number of
people
 in recent years to become vegetarians. But I still believe that
meat
 is an essential part of our diet table
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for youngsters.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

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