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Band 5.5

Some people think that they shouldn't be obligated to get vaccinated. Others believe that we must stop this epidemic by collaborating together. To what extent do you agree with which party.

#people #shouldn #epidemic #party
The opening statement explains that some
people
 believe that they shouldn't be
Forced
Fix capitalization
forced
show examples
 to get vaccinated. Others Come to terms that we must stop
this
 epidemic by Working together. As mentioned above, There are two parties arguing over the Coronavirus situation which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantages of being forced to get vaccinated are side effects. Not to mention, many
people
 have died.
Hence
, no one wants to lose their free will.
Correct your spelling
However
Howev er
Correct your spelling
However
show examples
, The advantages are if we work together,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
 will die and collectively take the vaccination,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 can develop herd immunity.
Thus
, improving our economy by getting back to normal. I strongly agree that we must stop
this
 epidemic by Working together.
For example
, In New York, There were massive graves and many homeless
people
 died because they didn't get vaccinated and the city was not prepared for
this
pandemic
. Fortunately, Turkiye, my country, sent medical supplies and equipment to help the city of New York fight the epidemic. If we get vaccinated, we will develop what scientists call (herd immunity) which means the virus would slowly become weak and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
 would get sick.
As a result
, we can start to stabilize our economy and things can return to normal.
For instance
, In New Zealand, the president has done an amazing job. She organized a massive vaccinatşon party and was successful in the
first
 3 months at the start of the
pandemic
, so they were the
first
 major example that
this
 fixing of the
pandemic
 can be done. In conclusion, stopping
this
pandemic
 should be our
first
 priority. Haven't we lost enough lives? ( Rhetoric question) Yes, there are some negative opinions but overall, we need to think about each other's care.
Submitted by emrekaanozkan01 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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