Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money

Despite the fact that we consider ourselves as a quite developed and modern

society

, the problem of homeless

people

appears up to now. Some

people

believe that monetary help is the best way to

support

bums.

However

, I opine that we should help by providing moral

support

, education, skill development and utmost in providing employment.

First

of all, after the industrial revolution

society

faced an enormous gap between wealthy / affluent / well-off and impoverished

people

. Wealth became directly connected to technologies. To socialize and have sustainable living modern humans should have a set of hard skills.

Secondly

, money is only a temporary solution for homeless

people

. Constant financial

support

from the government can decrease the willingness to search for a job and provoke addictions.

On the other hand

, it can raise intolerance

Change preposition

show examples

destitute

people

, because/ as / since

society

supports them through taxes.

Instead

, we should find reliable help that can provide permanent and

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

solutions. There are many proven

support

models that exist if we wish to back them and as a whole, we can make a stronger and better

society

and the world.

For example

, we should/ ought to focus on boosting their mental health and help to develop hard and soft skills.

Nevertheless

, to address their immediate needs, we should provide food, proper clothes, shelter and health care.

Lastly

, we should provide education,

skills

Correct word choice

and skills

show examples

development programs and help them to provide employment which can lead to living ethically and keeping their heads high. To summarize, we all can make a better

society

if we put some thoughtful consideration, programs and backing models in place.

Submitted by karolina.solyar on Mon Sep 05 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Although most people are richer than I the past,modern life seems very stressful,and the number of people suffering from stress is at record levels.What are the main causes of stress in modern life,and how could stress be reduced?