Some people think that the environment may be destroyed because of tourism. Others, however, believe that it is a way to preserve nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is a contentious issue, whether tourism brings destruction to the ecosystem or it is a gesture of prevention. I agree with the latter notion that travellers generate wealth for the maintenance of sites and locale.
This
essay will elucidate both perspectives in the upcoming paragraphs
along with
my own point of view.
To begin
with, tourist attractions deal with the large volume of travellers daily which leads to the high usage of natural resources. So
this
is the primary reason for environmental destruction which includes depletion of organic wealth and disturbing the balance of natural resources of the habitat. To cite an example, an article in "Toronto Star" written by Editor-in-Chief Mrs. Devis on "Journeys And Natural The Destruction" in 2022, has been stated that the local area of Niagra Falls needs 30% more drinking
due to
the substantial footprints of explorers.
Hence
, excursions are the cause of disharmony in the balance of natural sources of earth.
On the other hand
, some people tend to believe that globe-trotting is one of the best ways to generate economic wealth which can be utilised for the betterment of the environment . To be more specific, if there are enormous tourists at holidaymaking places
then
there will be more demand for basic stuff like food, clothes and accommodation.
Therefore
, services will be provided by both public and private sectors which boost the finances of the particular state and they can be used for the development and maintenance programmes of the local surroundings.
For instance
, a survey done by BBC in India about environment preservation revealed that 8 out of 10 ecological projects need no extra cost from the government as they generate revenue from tourism. Ultimately, it can be said that vacationing helps to improve the climatic conditions
instead
of damaging them.
To conclude
,
together with
my personal opinion, it can be asserted that,
although
excursionists consume natural resources of the historical destinations the revenue generated from them is way more beneficial for ecosystem protection. Undoubtedly, environmental dismantling is a matter of grave concern it does not have any deep association with tourism.
Submitted by knavdeep3011 on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct point. While the essay was well-structured, one of the paragraphs had two main points that could have been separated for clarity.
coherence
Try to vary your vocabulary when referring to the same concept multiple times to avoid repetition.
cohesion
Strengthen the introduction by providing more context about why this is a contentious issue. This will help immediately capture the reader's interest and set the tone.
task achievement
Try to ensure your supporting examples are balanced in terms of detail and relevance. While the examples provided were relevant, they were more detailed in some parts than others.
coherence
The essay provides a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
cohesion
The conclusion effectively paraphrases the main points and delivers a strong closing statement.
task achievement
The use of specific examples helps to strengthen the arguments made in the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints thoroughly and provides a personal opinion, making for a well-rounded discussion.

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