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Writing Samples
Band 4

These days people are living into their 90s and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care for the elderly.

#people #concern #care
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Nowadays, the older populations are being lived into ninety's and beyond, resulting in
Add an article
a dilemma
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dilemma
Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
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 about elderly
care
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. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of the children to look after them, when they are above 90 years.
To begin
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 with, the primary reason why family members are responsible for elderly
care
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 appears to be they can provide better
care
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 and support to older people
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when compared to the government.
For example
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, especially in developing countries
such
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 as India, Srilanka, and Nepal, people live in extended families.
As a result
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, even grandchildren are taking
care
Use synonyms
 of their grandfathers and grandmothers, particularly during the summer vacation in those countries.
Therefore
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, the elderly population having
such
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 close-knit families would make them feel content and secure. Another reason is that it is a blessing for their children and grandchildren if they look after their parents.
This
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 means it is believed religiously that if parents were looked after by their children during their old age,
then
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 their kids would take of them when they become old.
For instance
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,
this
Linking Words
 theory was researched and found that 90 % of participants could see the positive results of elderly
care
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. In conclusion, extended support,
care
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 and religious belief
of
Change preposition
in
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 blessings are highlighted reasons
for
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apply
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why it is the responsibility
for
Change preposition
of
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family
Add an article
the family
a family
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 to ta take
care
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 of parents.
Submitted by denny.mathew66 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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