Many people believe that television programs are no value for children. Do you agree? Why and why not? Provide reasons and examples to support your response.

Television
programs
offer various contents that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
consumed by kids. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
opinions that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
program
does not benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
viewers. I agree with
this
opinion and
this
essay will explain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
why the kids could not get value from the
television
program
Firstly
, the
television
business relies on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rating shares. It means,
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
television
companies create
programs
that satisfy
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of people.
This
is the major consideration for them regardless it suitable for
children
or not.
For example
, in my country, most adult people loved horror things and
this
topic was adapted into
television
programs
.
This
kind of
program
is not delivering
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
younger kids.
Furthermore
, it can bring traumatic experiences and bad memories for
children
.
In addition
,
television
programs
have an
addiction
Replace the word
addictive
show examples
effect. Some
children
might think that the
program
is enjoyable and entertaining. Once the
children
feel that, it is hard to stop watching as they
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
still learning about managing priorities in life. The
children
can lose their
time
for study and do
other beneficial thing
Change the wording
another beneficial thing
other beneficial things
show examples
like exercise and socializing with other people.
For instance
, I have a niece that
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of her
time
watching
television
. It causes her
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
difficulties in
cope
Wrong verb form
coping
show examples
with schools subject. She often
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
bad scores
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the exam because she does not study in her free
time
.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion
Add an article
a conclusion
show examples
, I agree that
television
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
giving
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
due to the appropriate
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, the addiction effect cause
children
lost
Change the verb form
to lose
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
for other activities that benefit he or
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life.
Submitted by evan.naratama on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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