Many people believe that television programs are no value for children. Do you agree? Why and why not? Provide reasons and examples to support your response.

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Television
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programs
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offer various contents that
has
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have
show examples
been
Wrong verb form
is
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consumed by kids. There
is
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are
show examples
opinions that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
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program
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does not benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
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children's
show examples
viewers. I agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion and
this
Linking Words
essay will explain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
why the kids could not get value from the
television
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program
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Firstly
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, the
television
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business relies on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rating shares. It means,
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
television
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companies create
programs
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that satisfy
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of people.
This
Linking Words
is the major consideration for them regardless it suitable for
children
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or not.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country, most adult people loved horror things and
this
Linking Words
topic was adapted into
television
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programs
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.
This
Linking Words
kind of
program
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is not delivering
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
younger kids.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can bring traumatic experiences and bad memories for
children
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
television
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programs
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have an
addiction
Replace the word
addictive
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effect. Some
children
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might think that the
program
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is enjoyable and entertaining. Once the
children
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feel that, it is hard to stop watching as they
is
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are
show examples
still learning about managing priorities in life. The
children
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can lose their
time
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for study and do
other beneficial thing
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another beneficial thing
other beneficial things
show examples
like exercise and socializing with other people.
For instance
Linking Words
, I have a niece that
spend
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spends
show examples
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of her
time
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watching
television
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. It causes her
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
difficulties in
cope
Wrong verb form
coping
show examples
with schools subject. She often
get
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gets
show examples
bad scores
in
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on
show examples
the exam because she does not study in her free
time
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.
As
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In
show examples
conclusion
Add an article
a conclusion
show examples
, I agree that
television
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Use synonyms
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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not
Add a missing verb
do not
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giving
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
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due to the appropriate
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, the addiction effect cause
children
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lost
Change the verb form
to lose
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
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for other activities that benefit he or
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life.
Submitted by evan.naratama on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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