Many people believe that television programs are no value for children. Do you agree? Why and why not? Provide reasons and examples to support your response.
Television
programs
offer various contents that has
Change the verb form
have
been
consumed by kids. There Wrong verb form
is
is
opinions that Change the verb form
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
television
program
does not benefit the
Correct article usage
apply
children
viewers. I agree with Change noun form
children's
this
opinion and this
essay will explain the
why the kids could not get value from the Correct article usage
apply
television
program
Firstly
, the television
business relies on the
rating shares. It means, Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct your spelling
that
television
companies create programs
that satisfy majority
of people. Add an article
the majority
a majority
This
is the major consideration for them regardless it suitable for children
or not. For example
, in my country, most adult people loved horror things and this
topic was adapted into television
programs
. This
kind of program
is not delivering positive
impact Correct article usage
a positive
for
younger kids. Change preposition
on
Furthermore
, it can bring traumatic experiences and bad memories for children
.
In addition
, television
programs
have an addiction
effect. Some Replace the word
addictive
children
might think that the program
is enjoyable and entertaining. Once the children
feel that, it is hard to stop watching as they is
still learning about managing priorities in life. The Change the verb form
are
children
can lose their time
for study and do other beneficial thing
like exercise and socializing with other people. Change the wording
another beneficial thing
other beneficial things
For instance
, I have a niece that spend
Change the verb form
spends
majority
of her Add an article
the majority
a majority
time
watching television
. It causes her have
difficulties in Add the particle
to have
cope
with schools subject. She often Wrong verb form
coping
get
bad scores Change the verb form
gets
in
the exam because she does not study in her free Change preposition
on
time
.
As
Change preposition
In
conclusion
, I agree that Add an article
a conclusion
television
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
not
giving Add a missing verb
do not
positive
impact Correct article usage
a positive
for
Change preposition
on
children
due to the appropriate contents
. Fix the agreement mistake
content
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
of
that, the addiction effect cause Change preposition
apply
children
lost
Change the verb form
to lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
for other activities that benefit he or her
life.Correct pronoun usage
their
Submitted by evan.naratama on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite