IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The internet is an amazing invention which has changed the world. Many think for the better while others think it causes problems. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

With the advancement of interventions, the
internet
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 became one of the human essentials.
People
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 in differnt ages are using the
internet
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 and need it in their daily life. Even though
,
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apply
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 the
internet
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 has invaded the world in education , health, economic, security and governmental documents.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
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 on personal and societal levels. There are many advantages of using the
internet
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.
First,
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ease of communication, which keeps
people
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 closer to each other, so
people
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 from Australia can have a video call with their family in Kuwait with zero effort.
Second,
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raise family and country income. Based on the
last
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 statistics for the Ministry of Commerce in Kuwait , data shows that from every three families , two have a small online business, which means their expenses are controlled. Third, it eases the governmental workload. With the use of the
internet
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, many applications and websites are created to help
people
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 get their documents and other transactions very easily. By implemnted
internet
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 in the organisation, the benefits will be shown in employment performance, fewer errors, fewer efforts, easier to control and offcourse
people
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's satisfaction.
On the other hand
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, there are disadvantages of using the
internet
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, that threat
people
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's lives.
First,
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there are some neurological issues with the
internet
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. Recent studies in pubmed shown that after the pandamic on 2020 , the level of sezuire raised 20% compared to 2019. Which means, most kids are using iPads and the
internet
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 more than 5 hours a day.
Second,
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fraud and stolen data. The war on the
internet
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 became about how to keep your data safe from hackers. Ministries made a great effort by setting rules, regulation and raise syperscurity in the whole system.
Finally
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, fewer physical activities.
People
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 spend their time on Mobile, laptop and Netflix more than gym or walking, so that they put their bones and muscles at risk thier bones and muscles. In conclusion, the
Internet
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 can help or threaten
people
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's lives based on how
people
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 deal with it. The outcome of the
internet
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 shows that the benefits are more than the disadvantages. Cybersecurity must be a focus and raise physical activities in daily life.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your essay gives more detail for the good side than the bad side.
coherence cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
Explain some ideas more. A few points are good, but the reason is not always fully clear.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some parts join well, but some sentences feel too long or not smooth.
task response
Give examples that are clear and easy to trust. Some examples are useful, but some need better support.
task response
You answered the question and wrote about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples from daily life and government services, which helps your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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