Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most people have succeeded in their entire life
due to
a luck factor which is beyond their control. In my opinion, even though some individuals believe it is a pivotal factor in reaching goals, I disagree with
this
perspective since many other foremost aspects help them to meet their
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
show examples
. The first attempt that ordinary people need to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
, in spite of waiting for magic luck to come into their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, is to organize the right-time schedule for the upcoming dream they want to achieve.
Moreover
,
this
might not only help them to take a small step to start achieving it but
also
increase the probability of getting success in people's future
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Taking scheduling in a company as an example, the employer needs to set a timetable to create many products on time. It means that fortune has no place to settle in
such
kind of environment since the manager places time management as the leading factor for achieving the goal.
Furthermore
, another aspect that needs to be considered is taking preparation in an upper line.
That is
to say, by setting a good preparation before D-day
is coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
, individuals will likely
perfectly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
end up with success.
For example
, in order to prepare for the British Chevening scholarship, every scholar will have done either some training or . If they merely rely on fortune, they will easily fail to succeed.
As a result
, the better prepared they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
the higher
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
of achieving their dream. In conclusion, reaching people’s aims is highly likely related to luck albeit many leading factors, like time management systems and proper preparations,
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
to
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
into account.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a clear and comprehensive structure, with an evident introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure could be improved by providing clearer links between ideas and ensuring a smoother flow of information. Use transition words to connect your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
While your essay demonstrates a clear response to the task prompt, there is room for improvement in presenting a more complete and focused response. Ensure that your examples directly relate to the question and that your ideas are consistently relevant throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • luck
  • determination
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • skills
  • continuous learning
  • achievements
  • opportunities
  • networking
  • personal accountability
  • diverse backgrounds
  • access to resources
  • causality
  • creative industries
  • structured fields
  • linear
  • predicated on merit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: