Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games give your own opinion.

#people #computer #games #children

Nowadays,

computer

video

games

are more popular

due to

advancements in technology. Some individuals believe that

computer

games

are bad for kids,

while

other people claim that they are beneficial for them. In

this

essay, I will explain the merits and demerits of

this

trend and

also

explain why I think electronic

games

have many advantages

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

disadvantages in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are many advantages of playing electronic

games

. First and foremost, individuals can make their brains more flexible.

For example

, it is scientifically proven that playing

computer

games

helps individuals to

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

the first reaction and

can

Verb problem

make

show examples

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

on any point,

this

is because with the help of video

games

Add a comma

games,

show examples

they learn these skills by practising day by day.

Furthermore

, children can

also

enhance their problem-solving skills by playing electronic

games

, which helps them to solve any particular task more effectively.

Also

, it is a good activity for people to spend their leisure time with that.

On the other hand

, despite the merits of

this

trend, it has some demerits.

Firstly

due to

involvement in

games

, students focus less on their studies and spend their maximum time gaming, which affects negatively their

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

Secondly

due to

spending long hours in

games

children are facing many physical difficulties.

For example

, they do not do more exercise

due to

involve more in

computer

games

and for that reason, they face overweight and diabetes-like problems.

In addition

, they

also

face eyesight problems for

this

To conclude

, after considering all, I think that electronic

games

have many more pros than cons because children enhance their mental ability and problem-solving skills even though they face some physical difficulties.

Submitted by azone2646 on Wed Sep 07 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a more compelling and comprehensive overview of the essay. Ensure that the main points are clearly presented and reinforced throughout the essay.

task achievement

The response addresses the task, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of computer games. However, consider a more balanced approach by providing deeper analysis and more specific examples to support the points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that the effective way to reduce industrial pollution is to tax the companies which cause these types of pollution. others think that there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is an appropriate use of government money?

Some people think that children should start school very early. Some people think they should start at least when they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that as nuclear technology threatens the peace of the world, it should be restricted.