Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games give your own opinion.

#people #computer #games #children

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Nowadays,

computer

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video

games

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are more popular

due to

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advancements in technology. Some individuals believe that

computer

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games

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are bad for kids,

while

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other people claim that they are beneficial for them. In

this

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essay, I will explain the merits and demerits of

this

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trend and

also

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explain why I think electronic

games

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have many advantages

than

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rather than

show examples

disadvantages in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are many advantages of playing electronic

games

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. First and foremost, individuals can make their brains more flexible.

For example

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, it is scientifically proven that playing

computer

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games

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helps individuals to

take

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make

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the first reaction and

can

Verb problem

make

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decision

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decisions

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on any point,

this

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is because with the help of video

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games

Add a comma

games,

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they learn these skills by practising day by day.

Furthermore

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, children can

also

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enhance their problem-solving skills by playing electronic

games

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, which helps them to solve any particular task more effectively.

Also

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, it is a good activity for people to spend their leisure time with that.

On the other hand

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, despite the merits of

this

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trend, it has some demerits.

Firstly

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due to

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involvement in

games

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, students focus less on their studies and spend their maximum time gaming, which affects negatively their

academic

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academics

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Secondly

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due to

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spending long hours in

games

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children are facing many physical difficulties.

For example

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, they do not do more exercise

due to

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involve more in

computer

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games

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and for that reason, they face overweight and diabetes-like problems.

In addition

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, they

also

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face eyesight problems for

this

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To conclude

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, after considering all, I think that electronic

games

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have many more pros than cons because children enhance their mental ability and problem-solving skills even though they face some physical difficulties.

Submitted by azone2646 on Wed Sep 07 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a more compelling and comprehensive overview of the essay. Ensure that the main points are clearly presented and reinforced throughout the essay.

task achievement

The response addresses the task, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of computer games. However, consider a more balanced approach by providing deeper analysis and more specific examples to support the points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that children going to single-sex schools are going to have better life prospects than co-educational schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some companies have uniforms for their employees which must be worn when they are at work. What are the advantages for a business of having a uniform and are there any advantages of having uniform for their staff?

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their subjects, other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for all qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own view.

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.