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Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games give your own opinion.

#people #computer #games #children
Nowadays,
computer
 video
games
 are more popular
due to
 advancements in technology. Some individuals believe that
computer
games
 are bad for kids,
while
 other people claim that they are beneficial for them. In
this
 essay, I will explain the merits and demerits of
this
 trend and
also
 explain why I think electronic
games
 have many advantages
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 disadvantages in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are many advantages of playing electronic
games
. First and foremost, individuals can make their brains more flexible.
For example
, it is scientifically proven that playing
computer
games
 helps individuals to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 the first reaction and
can
Verb problem
make
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 on any point,
this
 is because with the help of video
games
Add a comma
games,
show examples
 they learn these skills by practising day by day.
Furthermore
, children can
also
 enhance their problem-solving skills by playing electronic
games
, which helps them to solve any particular task more effectively.
Also
, it is a good activity for people to spend their leisure time with that.
On the other hand
, despite the merits of
this
 trend, it has some demerits.
Firstly
,
due to
 involvement in
games
, students focus less on their studies and spend their maximum time gaming, which affects negatively their
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
.
Secondly
,
due to
 spending long hours in
games
 children are facing many physical difficulties.
For example
, they do not do more exercise
due to
 involve more in
computer
games
 and for that reason, they face overweight and diabetes-like problems.
In addition
, they
also
 face eyesight problems for
this
.
To conclude
, after considering all, I think that electronic
games
 have many more pros than cons because children enhance their mental ability and problem-solving skills even though they face some physical difficulties.
Submitted by azone2646 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a more compelling and comprehensive overview of the essay. Ensure that the main points are clearly presented and reinforced throughout the essay.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of computer games. However, consider a more balanced approach by providing deeper analysis and more specific examples to support the points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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