Should International news be kept as a subject in secondary school. Discuss both sides.

#news #school

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Currently, International news

will be

Wrong verb form

show examples

what aids

to update

Change preposition

in updating

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anything happening in the world.

As a result

Linking Words

, it should be added to

Correct article usage

apply

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secondary school

Change preposition

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children can be

known

Wrong verb form

know

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

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awarded

Correct your spelling

aware

show examples

what

Change preposition

of what

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may be knowledge or

danger

Replace the word

dangerous

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to them. On the one hand, the announcement is what provides everything to a man who needs to know.

Hence

Linking Words

, it should be one of the subjects in all learning environments since children can

be following

Wrong verb form

show examples

the report to be aware of what they could be careful about.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, what is updated may put them in a better position about how to survive in a terrible situation.

For instance

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, there can be a huge number of men kidnapping a child in China or a man robbing money from younger guys in numerous countries.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, every school should add interesting news that helps to present anything

that is

Linking Words

beneficial to students.

In addition

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this

Linking Words

, if news becomes what has to be learnt in a common class, it may make students active to update what

it's

Wrong verb form

show examples

happening on the planet. On the flip side, a lack of understanding of a bad situation on Earth will be a man who cannot follow know-how to cheat.

Thus

Linking Words

, every learning environment should embed its students in order to prevent them from something

makes

Verb problem

apply

show examples

dangerous for them.

To conclude

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, the advantages of broadcasting in a secondary school outweigh the disadvantages. Since it aids children to know what they should be aware of and cater to every situation.

Submitted by amittawin on Wed Sep 07 2022

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coherence and cohesion

The essay shows a basic level of coherence and cohesion but lacks a logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion need improvement.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task but needs to provide more relevant and specific examples to support the main points effectively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Should International news be kept as a subject in secondary school. Discuss both sides.

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?