IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

#peoples #individuals #happiness #factors #people’s #life #influence
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Happiness
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 is a word that many
people
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 want to truly feel.
However
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,
people
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 can not have it all, it is a luxury many of us do not have;
this
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 raised the question, is
happiness
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 a
choice
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?
People
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 were split into two groups:
one
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 claiming it is a
choice
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, while the other says it depends on factors in
one
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's
life
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. On
one
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 hand,
people
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 claim that leisure of
happiness
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 is a
choice
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. It depends on a
person
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's mentality, and how they view
life
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; when they look at the half-filled cup, do they focus on the empty space or the full
one
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? Or do they just see a cup as half full half empty, seeing the bad and good at once?
This
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 group strongly believes that it depends on
one
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's
faith
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;
faith
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 can be in religion, in
life
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, in good, and in anything. Even
faith
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 in the
world
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 is evil. Opposing the opinion: if
one
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 has the
choice
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 of being happy,
then
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life
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 would be easier.
Happiness
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 is not a
choice
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, but rather is a feeling built on factors, and is influenced by what is happening in the
world
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. By
this
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 mentality,
people
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 with depression have the
choice
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 to be happy, and
people
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 suffering from
life
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 have the
choice
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 to be happy. Yes,
one
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 can smile through the pain, a
person
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 has no control over how they feel; only sociopaths have the ability to not be affected by the
world
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's good and evil. Overall,
people
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 have their own opinion and have the freedom of choosing how they feel about the
world
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, or how they view it. Part of the popularity believes that
happiness
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 depends on
one
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's
faith
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, while others believe that it depends on
one
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's
world
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. Humans differ from other species because they have the freedom of
choice
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, they have a brain that thinks on its own, allowing them to have different opinions. In my opinion,
happiness
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 depends on
one
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's
faith
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; the nostalgic feeling comes from a
person
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's satisfaction with what they have. A
person
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 can be the richest in the
world
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 and has it all, but still feel like they have nothing;
on the other hand
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,
one
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 can have nothing at all, but a simple smile from a loved
one
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 can make them feel like they have everything they need.
Submitted by joumanabassam5 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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