Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. What could be the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed?

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While

people

Use synonyms

believe that

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

such

Linking Words

as lawyers, teachers and doctors should be paid

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more money than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Use synonyms

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

and actors as they play a more vital role in the whole society. From my perspective, all kind of jobs has their value, the more money they get, the more risk, shortcoming, and pressure should be taken.

To begin

Linking Words

with, indeed, the so-called ‘dream jobs’

worth

Add a missing verb

are worth

show examples

higher

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

as it

known

Add the auxiliary verb

is known

show examples

for

well-educated

Add a missing verb

being well-educated

show examples

and professional.

In other words

Linking Words

, the

job

Use synonyms

can’t be done if we didn’t have

Correct article usage

a master

show examples

master

Change noun form

master's

show examples

doctor

Replace the word

doctorate

show examples

degree.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

unfair that the movie star and the NBA player is all billionaire because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their talent or gift is inborn. Most of the good looking and height

Change the verb form

are

show examples

genetic.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, not only it is hard to become a lawyer, teacher, and doctor, but they

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

noble things: defending, teaching, and helping, which definitely has a great contribution.

Thus

Linking Words

these

Change the determiner

this job

these jobs

show examples

job

Use synonyms

should be paid more.

However

Linking Words

, the world

just

Add a missing verb

is just

show examples

like a tremendous machine, and everyone in

this

Linking Words

machine is like

cog

Correct article usage

a cog

show examples

and screw. We play our own

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

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, mesh together, and collaborate with each other.

That is

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the structure functionalism in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sociology. There is no gap and level between all of us.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in terms of the industry of sport and entertainment, sometimes we just focus on the prestigious one, which does not fair enough due to the fact that other

people

Use synonyms

who

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not as successful as

them

Change the pronoun

they

show examples

doesn’t wealthy either.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, needless to say, every

job

Use synonyms

has a drawback, so as actors and athletes.

For instance

Linking Words

, being famous, there is no privacy in their life owing to they are forced to show up

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media and there is no scandal allowed. What’s worse, they have to bear the

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

and the unstable work.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is common that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

popular basketball or movie

player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

show examples

possess

Fix the infinitive

to possess

show examples

extremely high payment. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

who show up in the basketball course and movie

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

seems

Correct subject-verb agreement

seem

show examples

have

Add the particle

to have

show examples

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

life.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

have a lot of

obstacle

Change to a plural noun

obstacles

show examples

to overcome.

As a result

Linking Words

, I don’t agree that any other worker

worth

Add a missing verb

is worth

show examples

higher salaries.

chuang089Wed Sep 07 2022

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. What could be the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed?

Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled

Space exploration is a costly project. The money would be much better spent on reducing social problems. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Children should be encouraged to view every competitions as opportunities as self-improvement and to appreciate what they acquire in the process, instead of viewing its final result as the ultimate goal. To what extent do you agree with the statement?

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it ?