People can know about cultures and life through internet. So there is no need to travel to other countries to know about the culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In
this
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contemporary era, the
internet
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has become the main part of everyone's
life
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. Some amount of
people
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believe that they can learn and search for a lot of
things
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related to various types of
cultures
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and
life
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on the
internet
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without
exploration to
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
other countries. I firmly disagree with
this
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notion. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss my view. There are a number of reasons to learn about
cultures
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and traditions by travelling to a
country
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. First and foremost we can know the real and exact circumstances
being travel
Verb problem
of travelling
show examples
to the
country
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. After visiting different nations we can see their culture, traditions, beliefs, clothing, their past history from the older adults who have exact
knowledge
Use synonyms
of
life
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experiences that they can not learn from the
internet
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. To illustrate
this
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, many
things
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can not
experience
Wrong verb form
be experienced
show examples
on the
internet
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such
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as
people
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's nature, talking with them and so on.
Thus
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, visiting a
country
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is the best to learn about different
cultures
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.
Secondly
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, the
internet
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provides only theoretical
knowledge
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. Practical
knowledge
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is far better than theoretical
knowledge
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. A person can grasp and retain practical
things
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easier
Rephrase
more easily
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than written material.
While
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travelling to the
country
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,
people
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can see and learn many
things
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related to culture and traditions and by ,experience they never forget these
things
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.
For example
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, Doctors can not perform surgery on patients on the basis of theoretical
knowledge
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.
However
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, it is only possible with practical
knowledge
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and
life
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experiences.
Therefore
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, experienced
things
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have a long impact on a person's mind.
To conclude
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this
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,
although
Linking Words
there is a plethora of
knowledge
Use synonyms
we can seek from the
internet
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
to learn and know about the
cultures
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and other exact
things
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yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have to visit the places.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents your opinion, but try to clearly restate the question to help the reader understand the topic better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Try to stay focused on one point for each paragraph to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to connect your ideas better and help the reader follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, as this will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You clearly express your disagreement with the statement, which provides a clear stance for the reader.
task achievement
Your arguments on practical knowledge vs. theoretical knowledge are compelling and relevant to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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